• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 1107 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

New school problems

NAS82135

My son (4.5yrs) started primary school last week and today his dad has collected him to be told that he has spat in a teacher’s face and bit a girl. He’s never bitten anyone in anger before or spit, though he does frequently blow raspberries in people’s faces and not seem to grasp that it’s not funny/know to stop.

The teacher didn’t offer anything by way of next steps/thoughts, it was merely relayed to him, but it’s left us upset and concerned obviously. We’re very used to nursery where you get a full debrief at the end of each night.

I have lots of questions but mainly, as we’re new to this having only got a diagnosis over the summer, is spitting a sign of distress in a child with autism? Is not knowing when to stop doing something an autistic behaviour? And how do we address it? We’re worried that we’ve been treating behaviours as “Naughty” and approaching it wrongly, when he can’t help this.

It’s all very new to us and we’re struggling knowing how best to support our little boy. We’re also probably overthinking it all and worrying he’s going to not be able to stay at his mainstream school, though I know that’s unlikely at this stage.

Apologies for all the questions and if this isn’t the usual format of forum posts. Any advice on where to start would be gratefully received. Thank you. 

Parents

  • Hi, my son was 4 in August and recently diagnosed with ASD & ADHD. We have had lots of incidents with spitting & biting as well as hitting. I think for him it is a sign of frustration, often set off with one of his may triggers (people being in is personal space when not expected, being a huge one). Is your son diagnosed?

    This was an issue throughout preschool and he was given 121 support. He now has 121 support in Reception and is on reduced hours. We are in the process of hopefully gaining a EHCP.

    Is there any support in place for your son. Can you speak to the SEN team and see if 121 support would be something that can arrange (they have to apply for funding if they don't already have someone in the school that can do this). They should at the very least be putting reasonable adjustments in place for him. Is there a quiet/sensory room he can go to if he gets overwhelmed?

    We have a communication book where they will write about anything that's happened in the day and I can do the same to let them know if anything has happened at home. This also helps save 'embarrassment' in front of other parents. 

    I agree with Desmond79 below, kids are put under too much pressure. My son has just turned 4 (he is a baby still) yet is expected to be able to sit quietly at a desk in a learning environment, if he can't it's classed as disruptive. 

Reply

  • Hi, my son was 4 in August and recently diagnosed with ASD & ADHD. We have had lots of incidents with spitting & biting as well as hitting. I think for him it is a sign of frustration, often set off with one of his may triggers (people being in is personal space when not expected, being a huge one). Is your son diagnosed?

    This was an issue throughout preschool and he was given 121 support. He now has 121 support in Reception and is on reduced hours. We are in the process of hopefully gaining a EHCP.

    Is there any support in place for your son. Can you speak to the SEN team and see if 121 support would be something that can arrange (they have to apply for funding if they don't already have someone in the school that can do this). They should at the very least be putting reasonable adjustments in place for him. Is there a quiet/sensory room he can go to if he gets overwhelmed?

    We have a communication book where they will write about anything that's happened in the day and I can do the same to let them know if anything has happened at home. This also helps save 'embarrassment' in front of other parents. 

    I agree with Desmond79 below, kids are put under too much pressure. My son has just turned 4 (he is a baby still) yet is expected to be able to sit quietly at a desk in a learning environment, if he can't it's classed as disruptive. 

Children
  • in reply to Isabelle

    Thank you for your reply. We had a diagnosis four weeks ago. He’s had 121 support for the last two years at nursery to support his interaction with others. He’s a very happy and engaging boy but likes to do his own thing and doesn’t instigate play.

    He’s never really had an issue with hitting outside of home, when he is overly tired or worked up that does come out particularly with me. He’d not done it for well over a year but has been doing it since he started school because he must be overwhelmed by the change. How do you respond to the hitting? 

    We had a really good meeting with the school SENCO yesterday and they’re putting in a number of referrals and a POP plan for him, which has been described as a version of a support plan and reasonable adjustments they can make. They seemed really keen to support and make changes and unphased but not unsupportive.

    I suspect after a full day of school, after school club has been too much for him to take in the new environment. They’ve said we’ve got open communication with them so I guess we just watch and wait and flag any issues we have early so we can address them quickly.