How much do you discuss with your child about their autism?

I have a 12 year old lad. He was diagnosed during lockdown. He goes to grammar school and is very bright.

myself and his dad are not together we divorced 4 years ago. His dad is undiagnosed autistic.

Dad is upset with me as he feels I tell my lad too much about his autism, in reality from time to time I discuss how life feels to him, I ask him what his thinking is like? 
My lad feels understood by me, and someone he can open up to, because I ask questions so I can learn how best to work with my lad.

His dad feels I like hanging off of labels, but in reality it’s about both myself and my lad understanding how the world feels to him. 

He feels our lad is using this as an excuse to be rude, and distant with him. 
Dad recently met someone rather quickly and married them bringing her and her son into my lads world and home. The change was quick and my lad is processing the best way he knows how. 

Any input helpful x

Parents
  • I also agree that you are doing the right thing  I wish my parents had  had an understanding of why I found some things hard. It was only since my son was diagnosed that I realised I am autistic and can finally make adjustments and feel more relaxed about things I find harder. My son only really relaxes when he is with us. Your son is fortunate that you understand and being at home can be his safe place.

Reply
  • I also agree that you are doing the right thing  I wish my parents had  had an understanding of why I found some things hard. It was only since my son was diagnosed that I realised I am autistic and can finally make adjustments and feel more relaxed about things I find harder. My son only really relaxes when he is with us. Your son is fortunate that you understand and being at home can be his safe place.

Children