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How much do you discuss with your child about their autism?

NAS81877

I have a 12 year old lad. He was diagnosed during lockdown. He goes to grammar school and is very bright.

myself and his dad are not together we divorced 4 years ago. His dad is undiagnosed autistic.

Dad is upset with me as he feels I tell my lad too much about his autism, in reality from time to time I discuss how life feels to him, I ask him what his thinking is like? 
My lad feels understood by me, and someone he can open up to, because I ask questions so I can learn how best to work with my lad.

His dad feels I like hanging off of labels, but in reality it’s about both myself and my lad understanding how the world feels to him. 

He feels our lad is using this as an excuse to be rude, and distant with him. 
Dad recently met someone rather quickly and married them bringing her and her son into my lads world and home. The change was quick and my lad is processing the best way he knows how. 

Any input helpful x

  • in reply to Homebird

    Thankyou so much xx that’s reassuring to hear x

  • in reply to piggy1401

    Ah you brought a tear to my eye!! I needed that reassurance today I think x it’s hard to know what is right or wrong. I have a mum who doesn’t try to understand me but didn’t want to go too much the opposite way with my lad. His dad is undiagnosed ASD 100% the speaking without filter caused issues between us 

  • I also agree that you are doing the right thing  I wish my parents had  had an understanding of why I found some things hard. It was only since my son was diagnosed that I realised I am autistic and can finally make adjustments and feel more relaxed about things I find harder. My son only really relaxes when he is with us. Your son is fortunate that you understand and being at home can be his safe place.

  • Hiya,

    Don't change anything you are doing, sounds like you are being an absolutely amazing parent. you are providing a safe space for your son.

    everyone has different ways of parenting however as long as your son is happy with you starting conversations about autism and asking him questions then i think what you are doing is right. don't listen to his dad

    that all sounds like a lot of change for your son and i think even a neurotypical person would be a little rude and distant with all that change happening so quickly

    you are doing a great job! xx