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Help! Problems with school effectively teaching my daughter.

Maude77

Hi, I am having trouble finding any information on the internet and wondered if anyone could offer any advice. My daughter is 14 and was diagnosed with Aspergers last year (although I knew from about aged 2 and a half). As I know it is very common for girls to go undiagnosed, it took suicide threats followed by a referal to psychiatic clinic before it was picked up (this wasn't the first time and think it was luck that the nurse picked up on the clues enough to push for ados test). All her schooling has been an uphill battle, behaviour and social conduct being the main issue but more recently it is the actual 'learning'. Her school seem almost oblivios to her needs although she is getting the occasional support teacher to help, it doesn't make a difference as she just doesn't understand also coupled with the badgering from teachers that they are trying to help her equates in her shutting down. More recently though it has resulted in meltdowns. She has then been issued after school detentions for not doing the work.

 She recently spoke with a connections advisor and told her that she had actually planned on killing herself and via my permission been referred to psychiatric clinic again.

 She came home from school a few days ago late and burst into tears. She was obviously extremely distressed and told me she had an after school detention and the teachers kept going on and on at her so much that she ended up having a meltdown. I was extremely angry and kept her at home for the next day to try and get her into a better mind state. I also emailed the school and told them I was very displeased to hear of this and I wanted to have a meeting with key members of staff to discuss the situation. Shortly after this I had an email from the school saying she was issued another after school detention for being 'defiant'.

 I despair at the schools understanding for Aspergers. I have requested a statement for her again and again but have always been fobbed off so have gone straight to the LEA requesting it. She is on action plus at the moment but I believe she really needs a statement,espescially for transition to further education. I want a statement also as I believe she should be in a special needs school. She needs people who understand how she thinks and don't think she's being smart/cocky when she asks 'what is the point of us learning this'.

 I'm basically looking for anyone who has been or going through similar and want a bit of back up that I Am in the right. I also need some facts that I could throw at the school during this meeting to show them that they aren't helping by giving her detentions and some justification to her behaviour or what they see as offensive comments...being defiant.

I'd also like to add that she is extremely intelligent so it breaks my heart that the education system is failing her.

 Thanks :)

Parents

  • How very frightening for you, we were in the same situation almost a year ago now.  Our son is on anti depressants which do help a bit I think.  I remember how horrible it felt when I discovered he had considered suicide, but thank goodness something stopped him and your daughter from going further.  I well remember the relief we all felt when he left the school and I hope it will be the same for you.  I did consider home education but actually I think we all benefit from the time away from each other and the routine and normality of the school day.

    Hope the meeting goes well, keep strong, remember you are not alone and that what is best for your child is specialised care and education which needs to be delivered by specialists in ASD.  Your daughter is entitled to an appropriate education for her needs and those needs are clearly not being met by her current school.  We found the Inclusion Manager at our local council was fantastic, in the end we went directly to her and this was when thingsbegan to happen.  We were provided with home tuition until a suitable school place was found.  However we would not have got this if we had not asked for it and persisted asking until we got it.  

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  • How very frightening for you, we were in the same situation almost a year ago now.  Our son is on anti depressants which do help a bit I think.  I remember how horrible it felt when I discovered he had considered suicide, but thank goodness something stopped him and your daughter from going further.  I well remember the relief we all felt when he left the school and I hope it will be the same for you.  I did consider home education but actually I think we all benefit from the time away from each other and the routine and normality of the school day.

    Hope the meeting goes well, keep strong, remember you are not alone and that what is best for your child is specialised care and education which needs to be delivered by specialists in ASD.  Your daughter is entitled to an appropriate education for her needs and those needs are clearly not being met by her current school.  We found the Inclusion Manager at our local council was fantastic, in the end we went directly to her and this was when thingsbegan to happen.  We were provided with home tuition until a suitable school place was found.  However we would not have got this if we had not asked for it and persisted asking until we got it.  

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