Help! Problems with school effectively teaching my daughter.

Hi, I am having trouble finding any information on the internet and wondered if anyone could offer any advice. My daughter is 14 and was diagnosed with Aspergers last year (although I knew from about aged 2 and a half). As I know it is very common for girls to go undiagnosed, it took suicide threats followed by a referal to psychiatic clinic before it was picked up (this wasn't the first time and think it was luck that the nurse picked up on the clues enough to push for ados test). All her schooling has been an uphill battle, behaviour and social conduct being the main issue but more recently it is the actual 'learning'. Her school seem almost oblivios to her needs although she is getting the occasional support teacher to help, it doesn't make a difference as she just doesn't understand also coupled with the badgering from teachers that they are trying to help her equates in her shutting down. More recently though it has resulted in meltdowns. She has then been issued after school detentions for not doing the work.

 She recently spoke with a connections advisor and told her that she had actually planned on killing herself and via my permission been referred to psychiatric clinic again.

 She came home from school a few days ago late and burst into tears. She was obviously extremely distressed and told me she had an after school detention and the teachers kept going on and on at her so much that she ended up having a meltdown. I was extremely angry and kept her at home for the next day to try and get her into a better mind state. I also emailed the school and told them I was very displeased to hear of this and I wanted to have a meeting with key members of staff to discuss the situation. Shortly after this I had an email from the school saying she was issued another after school detention for being 'defiant'.

 I despair at the schools understanding for Aspergers. I have requested a statement for her again and again but have always been fobbed off so have gone straight to the LEA requesting it. She is on action plus at the moment but I believe she really needs a statement,espescially for transition to further education. I want a statement also as I believe she should be in a special needs school. She needs people who understand how she thinks and don't think she's being smart/cocky when she asks 'what is the point of us learning this'.

 I'm basically looking for anyone who has been or going through similar and want a bit of back up that I Am in the right. I also need some facts that I could throw at the school during this meeting to show them that they aren't helping by giving her detentions and some justification to her behaviour or what they see as offensive comments...being defiant.

I'd also like to add that she is extremely intelligent so it breaks my heart that the education system is failing her.

 Thanks :)

Parents
  • You are absolutely right.  That could be our story, just the same.  We got the mental health team involved and under their advice took our child out of the school.  We then got the statement and he is now in a special school and finally is being treated with respect and understanding.  It has been a lng battle and we had to go direct to the people at the top in the local authority.

    We are now facing a lot of time and therapy to try and repair the damage to his mental health and self esteem.  My advice to you is urgently to get her out of that school but make sure you have the backing of the doctor otherwise you might face legal problems with keeping your child out of school.  Then the statement - you can apply for this yourself but it helps if school are involved.  Have a look at special school provsion.

    It makes me so sad that almost every day I read a story like yours and mine.

    Good luck, let us know how you get on. It took us 8 months from withdrawal from school to starting at the special school. 

Reply
  • You are absolutely right.  That could be our story, just the same.  We got the mental health team involved and under their advice took our child out of the school.  We then got the statement and he is now in a special school and finally is being treated with respect and understanding.  It has been a lng battle and we had to go direct to the people at the top in the local authority.

    We are now facing a lot of time and therapy to try and repair the damage to his mental health and self esteem.  My advice to you is urgently to get her out of that school but make sure you have the backing of the doctor otherwise you might face legal problems with keeping your child out of school.  Then the statement - you can apply for this yourself but it helps if school are involved.  Have a look at special school provsion.

    It makes me so sad that almost every day I read a story like yours and mine.

    Good luck, let us know how you get on. It took us 8 months from withdrawal from school to starting at the special school. 

Children
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