Advice please

We currently have a situation with regards to our 13yr old son, who although not formally diagnosed. We do have an ED report stating our son lacks social and communication skills along with dyslexia. We are waiting for SEN and he is currently under assessment with CAMHS and from the outside he does look like an ordinary child!!!!!!!!!!!.  

We are having lots of problems at school, but in the last week it seems to be getting worse.

A bit of back ground info;

I do believe my son is aware of his impairments and does struggle with his image. When we received written notification from SEN dept, which was address to parents of and his name. My son opened the letter, there was a leaflet in the envelope explain children’s disability service and a pic of a visually disabled young lady. We later found this info in the bin, when we asked him why, his answer was “they are trying to make me disabled”.

Last week;

We have been made aware by school that my son and a female child, who does look visually disabled, struggle to get on.

During the last wk, there have been a number of incidents with the two not getting on. The female and these are the words from the teacher, “she cries wolf” and my son who reacts badly to certain situations have a number of incidents in the class room.

We have now been called into school for a meeting with regards to and again the teacher’s words “he has been bullying and intimidating to her”.

When I try to explain to the teachers about my son, I get the rolling of the eyes and comments like, well when we get the formal diagnosis!!!!!!! We have seen him behave differently, we know he can do it, he’s choosing to behave like this, and these are un provoked incidents.

I do think he struggles to see people who are visually disabled due to his own impairments.

But how do i relay this to school in order for them to understand? 

We feel like we are banging our head against a wall.   

 

        

 

Parents
  • Hi sorry to hear you are going through this.  Similar situation to us. Our son is now out of mainstream , in a special school for asd children and at last we feel he is understood.  He is treated with respect, we are not made to feel we have a naughty or agressive child.  His issues are being addresed and he is not constantly in trouble for being who he is.  There is still  a long way to go and he has been damaged by his experince in mainstream secondary, however we are  the right track

    My advice to you would be to rsearch other schools where they will understand your sons needs.  You will need the statement so keep pushing for that.  I never thought in a million years that our child would need a school like the one he is at because he is high functioning and does not appear to have problems on first sight.  However I know different now.

    Best of luck, keep on pushing and you will get what you need.

Reply
  • Hi sorry to hear you are going through this.  Similar situation to us. Our son is now out of mainstream , in a special school for asd children and at last we feel he is understood.  He is treated with respect, we are not made to feel we have a naughty or agressive child.  His issues are being addresed and he is not constantly in trouble for being who he is.  There is still  a long way to go and he has been damaged by his experince in mainstream secondary, however we are  the right track

    My advice to you would be to rsearch other schools where they will understand your sons needs.  You will need the statement so keep pushing for that.  I never thought in a million years that our child would need a school like the one he is at because he is high functioning and does not appear to have problems on first sight.  However I know different now.

    Best of luck, keep on pushing and you will get what you need.

Children
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