how to approach discussion of forthcoming asd assessment with 7 yr old

I would recommend the book DIFFERENT lIKE ME as it gives a positive image of famous ASD people, as well as info about Greta Thunberg as she has ASD.  i would take it very slowly (eg years) and as she asks about it.  Another useful vido on you tube is : newsround autism - its a fairly upbeat summary of the condition by a 12 yr old girl with autism.  

I am now tutoring (including online tutoring) ASD pupils.  I have run ASD provisions in a similar role to a SENCO for over 20 years and home schooled my son.  [Removed by Moderator due to breaking rules 7 and 2 of the Online Community. More info here: https://community.autism.org.uk/p/rules].

thanks JFG...I'll check those links

thanks...good news about the queues!

Make cakes, have a family night, create something that isn't too epic, just a little 'extra' so it's recollected as lightly indulgent. Not too obvious, but genuinely pleased to have a NeuroDivergent family. Maybe... celebrating what's upcoming?

It's amazing that children are being taught to better understand their strengths and limits and then have parents who provide room for them to become into themselves. It sounds like she is hyper-aware and perhaps this will bring relief. I think the autistic mind is amazing. We may not have needed a diagnosis 100 years ago, but as society changes, the gap socially and in sensory issues has widened. The world around is filled with a great deal of unnatural scents, chemicals, sounds, lighting even. There is a loss in values and morals are upside down at times, missing in key components. The autistic-analytic mind can sense what non-autistics may have trouble picking up. For one, we don't have the same filters in our 'neuro-connectors' and loads of research on our Gamma Waves (responsible for flow-state, eureka connexions) show heightened activity. These make hyper-focus and monotropism possible https://monotropism.org. But they can also cause physical anxiety from an inability to stop their connexions. It's like a med-school party in the brain lighting everything up. The sort of excitement intaking much too hot a power source, sending the excitement meter from green to red. Knowing this is incredibly useful. It's important to take a whole day off and if she loves learning, find something to learn which bears no weight, even if it's a full day at the library just examining encyclopaedias. 

But because we're reasoning with either a vivid imagination or formulas instead of language, we just won't match our peers with their semiotics and subtext which is where a lot of the mis-relating-with or misunderstanding can happen. Even knowing this at a young age can help us if it's just learning to identify the type of humans we should probably mind and steer clear of and the individuals we will find better connexions with. To be fair, all the individuals I call friends are creative technicians. Bakers (chemistry+art), Engineers who make cool music gear, Editors who work with software like a tapestry, jewellery makers... It took me a long time to learn I wasn't 'attracting' sociopaths. They were attracted to me because I appeared naive and easy to abuse. But I had limits and didn't play along because I didn't know. They would eventually tire of me, but I wish I'd been able to spot them sooner!

Over the years, understanding how to build on my strengths and respect my limits was invaluable. And then just rules for affording kindness, dignity, how to invest in a friend and how to protect those friendships. What is innate to me, might be difficult to NTs though. If I cannot read a room, but I can be graceful, life is a little more fluid. 

These are some good links:

https://www.yellowladybugs.com.au 

I really like how this chap discusses things from our point of view.

https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ

neuroclastic.com/.../

Congratulations on finally getting a date, it takes forever.

make sure she has plenty of warning so tell her soon as it's a lot for her to process. sounds like she already has an understanding of autism. so just tell her that you spoke to the doctor about her possibly being autistic and they are letting her have an assessment. whether she gets a diagnosis or not doesn't change anything. she will still be the same person. if she has autism it just means she gets support from school and she might even be able to skip queues at theme parks (this was the only reason my cousin agreed to go for an assessment). just explain as much as you know, she will appreciate the information.

Alisha xx