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Adult assessment

NAS81222

Hi , I am the father of a 19yr old boy who we have recently finally realised after piecing together many events over the years and seeing his struggles going into the adult world most definitely has autism spectrum disorder. We are considering going private so we can quickly get a proper evaluation and report and then CBT to help him. Has anyone else gone down this road so late on in their childs life and what advantages if any were gained from a proper evaluation. Also any recommendations of where to go for this would be a great help if the experience was a positive helpful one. Thank you, 

Parents

  • I would say the best course of action from a family's perspective is to see ASC as a different mode of being, rather than a disorder. It is not something that can be "fixed" with therapy and a diagnosis, rather something that one must learn to accept and understand in order to help the autistic person find a sense of meaning and value in an otherwise confusing and scary world. CBT may help some, but it may work for others. Likewise a diagnosis may be of value, but may also add constraints to a person's life which can be further damaging and isolating. 

    If I were to look back at my 19 year old self and ask what I needed at the time, it would have been the following:

    1. To be taken seriously for who I am, and not for what people wish I was 

    2. To have my interests and hobbies nurtured healthily by my family members

    3. To not feel forced to socialise and behave in a certain manner, as ultimately no amount of masking or concealing can take away the ASC person's true self. 

    Ultimately my advice is to encourage your son to be who he is, and to respect what he needs and wants above anything else. If you are considering CBT as an intervention, make sure it is an intervention for a specific problem (e.g., concentration troubles), rather than an intervention for autism itself.

    I wish you all the best on your journey! 

  • in reply to A_fran

    Hi

        Thank you so much for your reply.

    Your 3 points are without doubt the way he will be treated and an understanding of who he is and not what I want from him is the way forward .

    My thoughts on a diagnosis is for his future self when we are not around to support him. 

    He was unable to keep a part time job even though he tried for months but due to anxiety and some meltdowns at work (something he kept from me) he quit, if his future employment status and having money etc is  dependant on other means then i just thought having on record a diagnosis and maybe next time having CBT could help him through any difficulties he had in a job it would be worth a try.

    I`m trying to cover all bases for his future now i know why his last few years have been so difficult for him.

    I feel I most definetly failed him by not realising the ASC and i want to do everything possible to fix that.

    Thanks again for your help

    Paul

Reply
  • in reply to A_fran

    Hi

        Thank you so much for your reply.

    Your 3 points are without doubt the way he will be treated and an understanding of who he is and not what I want from him is the way forward .

    My thoughts on a diagnosis is for his future self when we are not around to support him. 

    He was unable to keep a part time job even though he tried for months but due to anxiety and some meltdowns at work (something he kept from me) he quit, if his future employment status and having money etc is  dependant on other means then i just thought having on record a diagnosis and maybe next time having CBT could help him through any difficulties he had in a job it would be worth a try.

    I`m trying to cover all bases for his future now i know why his last few years have been so difficult for him.

    I feel I most definetly failed him by not realising the ASC and i want to do everything possible to fix that.

    Thanks again for your help

    Paul

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