Adult assessment

Thankyou so much for your reply.

Our realisation of what he`s been coping with through secondary school and beyond has been heart breaking.

There were signs from early on as a child but we just didn`t piece them all together, he was an incredibly happy, clever kid. I can`t undo what has been done and the expectancy from him through secondary school which must have been so hard for him has truly broken my heart.

Reading up about ASC now and seeing he virtually ticked all the boxes is something we are going to have to live with and move forward better and more understanding of what makes him, him. 

He has always been loved, but not had the support and help he obviously needed, this is now going to change.

Thanks again for your help.

Thankyou so much for your reply.

All the best

Paul

Thanks so much for your reply, The Diagnosis  of the ASC is what i believe would then lead to the right CBT for him. 

My thoughts on a diagnosis is for his future self when we are not around to support him. 

He was unable to keep a part time job even though he tried for months but due to anxiety and some meltdowns at work (something he kept from me) he quit, if his future employment status and having money etc is  dependant on other means then i just thought having on record a diagnosis and maybe next time having CBT could help him through any difficulties he had in a job it would be worth a try.

I`m trying to cover all bases for his future now i know why his last few years have been so difficult for him.

I feel I most definitely failed him by not realising the ASC and i want to do everything possible to fix that.

Thanks again for your help

Paul

Hi

    Thank you so much for your reply.

Your 3 points are without doubt the way he will be treated and an understanding of who he is and not what I want from him is the way forward .

My thoughts on a diagnosis is for his future self when we are not around to support him. 

He was unable to keep a part time job even though he tried for months but due to anxiety and some meltdowns at work (something he kept from me) he quit, if his future employment status and having money etc is  dependant on other means then i just thought having on record a diagnosis and maybe next time having CBT could help him through any difficulties he had in a job it would be worth a try.

I`m trying to cover all bases for his future now i know why his last few years have been so difficult for him.

I feel I most definetly failed him by not realising the ASC and i want to do everything possible to fix that.

Thanks again for your help

Paul

if you live in a rural area you might get a fast diagnosis on the nhs. its going to take months whichever way you do it. not sure cbt will help as the problem tends to be with acceptance by yourself and the people around you. read a few tony atwood books. neuro tribes. 19 isnt late. its the best thing thatll happen to him. i wish knew what was going on age 19. nurture his special interests and guide him toward them career wise. even if its playing with lego. 

Both myself, at 59, and my daughter, at 19, had private assessments and were both diagnosed, a day apart. We used Psychiatry UK (https://psychiatry-uk.com/), it was not cheap at around £1K each, but it was fast and did not require going through a GP. I was diagnosed by an NHS consultant psychiatrist with specialisms in adult and child autism. The company is NHS registered and does NHS referrals for ADHD assessment. Apart from the price, I was happy with the service.

In essence, confirmation is just a seal of approval for oneself. It was in my experience anyway. It can bring about positive change when you realise you aren’t a defective Neurotypical person, but a perfectly normal Neurodiverse one!

When you seek a private assessment, ensure that the clinician has experience or specialises in Autism. Also find out the process. Ideally this would include an in person evaluation, observations,  psychometric testing, questionnaires, and an in depth interview plus developmental interview.

My daughter, then 17 had a private assessment, as did I after hers. 

CBT can help, but it would have to geared towards Autism. What sort of are you hoping for? Social communication? 

I would say the best course of action from a family's perspective is to see ASC as a different mode of being, rather than a disorder. It is not something that can be "fixed" with therapy and a diagnosis, rather something that one must learn to accept and understand in order to help the autistic person find a sense of meaning and value in an otherwise confusing and scary world. CBT may help some, but it may work for others. Likewise a diagnosis may be of value, but may also add constraints to a person's life which can be further damaging and isolating. 

If I were to look back at my 19 year old self and ask what I needed at the time, it would have been the following:

1. To be taken seriously for who I am, and not for what people wish I was 

2. To have my interests and hobbies nurtured healthily by my family members

3. To not feel forced to socialise and behave in a certain manner, as ultimately no amount of masking or concealing can take away the ASC person's true self. 

Ultimately my advice is to encourage your son to be who he is, and to respect what he needs and wants above anything else. If you are considering CBT as an intervention, make sure it is an intervention for a specific problem (e.g., concentration troubles), rather than an intervention for autism itself.

I wish you all the best on your journey!