sleeping with parents...how to end it as peacefully as possible!

Hi,

I have similar issues with my 11 year old son.  He won't sleep on the loft bed; has three quilts and a sleeping bag.  One quilt goes everywhere around the house with him.  He used to take the covers off, but I discovered he would keep some pillowcases on - these were some brushed cotton or flanelette ones.  So we went out and bought a brushed cotton duvet cover, which he keeps on.  

I've noticed if my son watches anything on TV, film, or in video games, which he finds scary or something's been said that causes him to get anxious, I have a lot of problems with bed times.  Therefore, I try to closely monitor what he is exposed to during the day.  As long as we're careful, he will sleep in his own room, but his door needs to be wide open and so does our door, plus the landing light on.  It isn't very often he does sleep in his own room though.

If he has seen or heard something he doesn't like, we usually have problems for a while and he ends up sleeping on the floor next to our bed or in his big sister's room.  Since a lot scares him, this is more often the case.

Some things I have noticed that help:  1) when his sister was away for 3 weeks, he was able to sleep in a pop up tent in her bedroom (no space in his room).  He seemed to feel safe in there.   2) My son takes a long time to settle and doesn't like to be the last person to fall asleep.  So I try getting him in to his room early (about 7.30pm) and we go into our room so we're all upstairs with him (he won't stay upstairs/downstairs alone).  This gives him plenty of time (2 hours or more)to settle and he feels safe knowing we're in the next room and still awake.  As long as he doesn't have a nightmare, he usually sleeps through in his room.

Hi,

I have similar issues with my 11 year old son.  He won't sleep on the loft bed; has three quilts and a sleeping bag.  One quilt goes everywhere around the house with him.  He used to take the covers off, but I discovered he would keep some pillowcases on - these were some brushed cotton or flanelette ones.  So we went out and bought a brushed cotton duvet cover, which he keeps on.  

I've noticed if my son watches anything on TV, film, or in video games, which he finds scary or something's been said that causes him to get anxious, I have a lot of problems with bed times.  Therefore, I try to closely monitor what he is exposed to during the day.  As long as we're careful, he will sleep in his own room, but his door needs to be wide open and so does our door, plus the landing light on.  It isn't very often he does sleep in his own room though.

If he has seen or heard something he doesn't like, we usually have problems for a while and he ends up sleeping on the floor next to our bed or in his big sister's room.  Since a lot scares him, this is more often the case.

Some things I have noticed that help:  1) when his sister was away for 3 weeks, he was able to sleep in a pop up tent in her bedroom (no space in his room).  He seemed to feel safe in there.   2) My son takes a long time to settle and doesn't like to be the last person to fall asleep.  So I try getting him in to his room early (about 7.30pm) and we go into our room so we're all upstairs with him (he won't stay upstairs/downstairs alone).  This gives him plenty of time (2 hours or more)to settle and he feels safe knowing we're in the next room and still awake.  As long as he doesn't have a nightmare, he usually sleeps through in his room.