• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 68 subscribers
  • Views 622 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Parent of 2 Aspies reaching out

NAS81193

As a father of 2 Aspies (16 and 13), with a wife who has changed careers from teaching to therapy in order to understand and help our own kids better, I can't believe this is the FIRST time I've ever sought connection with other parents of kids on the spectrum. 

We have tried so hard to support and develop them but despite all our efforts, one huge doubt remains: where is the line between supporting their development (therapy, new experiences, extending their comfort zones, etc) and accepting them 'as they are' (which limitations are innate? Are our efforts actually harming our kids?) And at an even deeper level, are our efforts driven by a desire to support them or a denial of how they are? After all these years, I'm realising that instead of working on them maybe the best way to help them would have been to work on myself. 

Not sure there's even a question there. Wishing you all well. 

Parents

  • i think all you need to do is love and support your kids and not force things on them or get shouty at them when they do things you dont approve of.

    im not entirely sure. my mum is kind and loving, id do anything she wants to not upset her... my dad... is probably a narcissist and gets shouty angry and manipulative and when even a tiny thing doesnt go his way, so tiny, such as you put his cup in the wrong place, he would go ballistic argue and whine for hours and turn it onto others things such as claiming you dont do anything and claiming you dont care about him and claiming your a aweful person and that your the bad one that shouts and so on... yeah, dont be a douche like my dad, but thats easy because i guess hes a narcissist and its his mental issue lol

    be cool and loving, dont hate your kid, dont be aggressive or manipulative or try to guilt and turn things on them and dont be negative. it will all turn out alright with love and positivity and support. anything negative would just drive them into a deep hole though, you will never get them out of the room or your house in the future if you add anything negative, they will shut themselves in in every possible way.

Reply

  • i think all you need to do is love and support your kids and not force things on them or get shouty at them when they do things you dont approve of.

    im not entirely sure. my mum is kind and loving, id do anything she wants to not upset her... my dad... is probably a narcissist and gets shouty angry and manipulative and when even a tiny thing doesnt go his way, so tiny, such as you put his cup in the wrong place, he would go ballistic argue and whine for hours and turn it onto others things such as claiming you dont do anything and claiming you dont care about him and claiming your a aweful person and that your the bad one that shouts and so on... yeah, dont be a douche like my dad, but thats easy because i guess hes a narcissist and its his mental issue lol

    be cool and loving, dont hate your kid, dont be aggressive or manipulative or try to guilt and turn things on them and dont be negative. it will all turn out alright with love and positivity and support. anything negative would just drive them into a deep hole though, you will never get them out of the room or your house in the future if you add anything negative, they will shut themselves in in every possible way.

Children
No Data