Son won’t accept diagnosis

Hi- I had quite a different reaction when recently realising that I am autistic (though I was older-25) -  it made a lot of sense and helped me accept and understand myself better- but it was also very confusing (lots of doubting and questioning etc) and took up a lot of space in my head. 

What I would like to say to your son is that this 'label' doesn't change who he is. For me it just helped me to understand why I had felt so different ('like an alien") all my life. Is it possible that he desperately wants to fit in with his peers and doesn't want to be different? 

I presume his school/teachers know about the ASD diagnosis? But if he is not comfortable with other people or his peers knowing then he doesn't have to share it? That way the diagnosis doesn't change anything in terms of the interactions with most people in his life- could that alleviate some of his anxiety? Can you try to explain that the ASD diagnosis is more of a useful piece of information that can if necessary help him get some more support if he needs it but that doesn't have to change anything else if he doesn't want to?  With time he might feel happy to share with some people. For me it is all still quite new too- I did talk about it with some close friends when the possibility of autism was raised, only to realise that most of my friends are also autistic (I just hadn't known). However at work barely anyone knows and this is information that I will for sure only share when I feel comfortable or if I feel like I need some more support. (Unfortunately there is a lot of misunderstanding about autism). 

I agree with Dawn and JuniperFromGallifrey that "being autistic is awesome" - of course it brings extra challenges. But a lot of my autistic traits make me who I am and can actually be quite useful- for example attention to detail and being able to hyperfocus on something - in fact that is what makes me good at my job (scientist :)). 

I also think it just takes time to come to terms with being autistic. 

Regarding therapy, maybe give it time but if it doesn't feel right I personally feel like it might be best to try to change therapist or therapy style or to just accept that it might not be the right time and cancel. I'm not a medical professional so only speaking from personal experience- I had therapy with quite a lot of therapist over the years and was even inpatient for a while  (though I was not aware that I was autistic at the time) and I feel like some of those therapies did more harm than good - I am by no means saying that therapy cannot be positive and helpful but it has to be right and and the right fit and the right time. After one session, it is hard to judge though if the therapy is a good fit. 

Hi- I had quite a different reaction when recently realising that I am autistic (though I was older-25) -  it made a lot of sense and helped me accept and understand myself better- but it was also very confusing (lots of doubting and questioning etc) and took up a lot of space in my head. 

What I would like to say to your son is that this 'label' doesn't change who he is. For me it just helped me to understand why I had felt so different ('like an alien") all my life. Is it possible that he desperately wants to fit in with his peers and doesn't want to be different? 

I presume his school/teachers know about the ASD diagnosis? But if he is not comfortable with other people or his peers knowing then he doesn't have to share it? That way the diagnosis doesn't change anything in terms of the interactions with most people in his life- could that alleviate some of his anxiety? Can you try to explain that the ASD diagnosis is more of a useful piece of information that can if necessary help him get some more support if he needs it but that doesn't have to change anything else if he doesn't want to?  With time he might feel happy to share with some people. For me it is all still quite new too- I did talk about it with some close friends when the possibility of autism was raised, only to realise that most of my friends are also autistic (I just hadn't known). However at work barely anyone knows and this is information that I will for sure only share when I feel comfortable or if I feel like I need some more support. (Unfortunately there is a lot of misunderstanding about autism). 

I agree with Dawn and JuniperFromGallifrey that "being autistic is awesome" - of course it brings extra challenges. But a lot of my autistic traits make me who I am and can actually be quite useful- for example attention to detail and being able to hyperfocus on something - in fact that is what makes me good at my job (scientist :)). 

I also think it just takes time to come to terms with being autistic. 

Regarding therapy, maybe give it time but if it doesn't feel right I personally feel like it might be best to try to change therapist or therapy style or to just accept that it might not be the right time and cancel. I'm not a medical professional so only speaking from personal experience- I had therapy with quite a lot of therapist over the years and was even inpatient for a while  (though I was not aware that I was autistic at the time) and I feel like some of those therapies did more harm than good - I am by no means saying that therapy cannot be positive and helpful but it has to be right and and the right fit and the right time. After one session, it is hard to judge though if the therapy is a good fit.