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Son won’t accept diagnosis

NAS81015

Hello. My son is 13. He was diagnosed with ASD just over two weeks ago. This has taken a very long time with alot  of appointments etc. I’ve spoken to him as positive as I can throughout this time. When he received his diagnosis he wouldn’t accept it and broke his heart - he said I created it in my mind and made everyone believe he has ASD. Everytime it’s mentioned he cries and says I’ve ruined his life. I’ve decided to not talk about it and try and let him process the information. But in all honesty I can’t see him ever accepting it. 
also with his hormones raging etc I’m finding everything so tough - and how to deal with him. He has his first CBT session yesterday which didn’t go well. He cried when ASD was mentioned and then due to his awkward social skills he didn’t open up at all. I feel so lost on what to do. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you. 

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  • Oh God, your experience is so different to mine, in which the diagnosis, albeit 56 years late, was a magic answer to everything and a massive relief.

    But I have encountered young people who feel their diagnosis ruined their lives; as if somehow they would have been perfectly normal if no one had slapped a label on them. Errrr, ok so I get they are feeling stigmatised, but not having the label wouldn't make them less autistic and they'd still be living an autistic life.l whether they recognised or liked that or not. Bless them.

    Your son basically is a kid who needs to feel like his peers, but truth is he isn't like them at all. And that's tough.

    All I can suggest to help him come to terms with that is to let him see the massive benefit autism can bring - and we have them. Let him see he is ok as he is, that being different is no bad thing and can be a boon not a barrier to where you could go in life..

    ..meanwhile keep an eye on his therapy. He does need that input to come to terms with the diagnosis, but they need to hold his autism at the core of it not treat it as a 'bolt on'. Therapy will only be useful if properly adapted for him.

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  • Oh God, your experience is so different to mine, in which the diagnosis, albeit 56 years late, was a magic answer to everything and a massive relief.

    But I have encountered young people who feel their diagnosis ruined their lives; as if somehow they would have been perfectly normal if no one had slapped a label on them. Errrr, ok so I get they are feeling stigmatised, but not having the label wouldn't make them less autistic and they'd still be living an autistic life.l whether they recognised or liked that or not. Bless them.

    Your son basically is a kid who needs to feel like his peers, but truth is he isn't like them at all. And that's tough.

    All I can suggest to help him come to terms with that is to let him see the massive benefit autism can bring - and we have them. Let him see he is ok as he is, that being different is no bad thing and can be a boon not a barrier to where you could go in life..

    ..meanwhile keep an eye on his therapy. He does need that input to come to terms with the diagnosis, but they need to hold his autism at the core of it not treat it as a 'bolt on'. Therapy will only be useful if properly adapted for him.

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