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Autisic shutdown or severe social anxiety?

Catlady31

Hello, I'm looking for some insight into shutdowns please.

My daughter is awaiting assessment and I don't know if she is experiencing shutdowns or if it's due to severe social anxiety. Can you differentiate?

To date, we have had two appointments and she has been fine going, doesn't seem stressed or worried at all but as soon as we enter the room she becomes a completely different child, can't speak, can't look at the nurse.  She can't even look at me or answer any questions from the nurse or myself.  Once the appointment has ended and we leave, she is sometimes not talking to me even if I talk to her about something completely different.  This also happens when going to other health appointments and when trying to get her to school as she is struggling to attend.

I have looked at other posts on here about shutdowns but if anyone has any further information on whether this sounds like shutdowns that would be most helpful.

Parents

  • I don’t think it is a shutdown, as they often occur after a meltdown, or after a stressful situation. In these situations, you might still talk, but words may be slow as the brain isn’t really engaged. I can’t really explain it lol,

    I was thinking mutism, due to not being able to speak, as opposed to feeling awkward and not knowing what to say. Sometimes I know what I want to say in these important appointments, but as soon as I’m asked something I didn plan for for example, I get tongue tied, and it’s difficult to get the words out.

    Any anxiety making situation could trigger the mutism. I was like that a child, but people thought I was just shy, when in fact, I can recall nit being able to speak, even thought I needed to.

Reply

  • I don’t think it is a shutdown, as they often occur after a meltdown, or after a stressful situation. In these situations, you might still talk, but words may be slow as the brain isn’t really engaged. I can’t really explain it lol,

    I was thinking mutism, due to not being able to speak, as opposed to feeling awkward and not knowing what to say. Sometimes I know what I want to say in these important appointments, but as soon as I’m asked something I didn plan for for example, I get tongue tied, and it’s difficult to get the words out.

    Any anxiety making situation could trigger the mutism. I was like that a child, but people thought I was just shy, when in fact, I can recall nit being able to speak, even thought I needed to.

Children
  • in reply to Catlover

    This sounds very familiar to me and I'm now wondering whether it could be relevant to my sons too.  Anyway, I'm just "dropping in" to echo your thoughts on situational mutism. 

    My own experience is also that it is fear/anxiety-related and, looking back, I'd say it was usually triggered by being in a situation in which I felt I had little - no control and in which others were in a position of power over me.  So, for example, I'd find teachers and doctors very scary and would often clam up, in spite of having lots to say.  Being in different surroundings, such as a GP's surgery waiting room or even just a shop, would also trigger it, I think as my feelings of certainty and safety became eroded.  

    So I would say there may be a need to zoom in on the specific environments and people in which the mutism occurs and see whether anything can be altered to make them feel safer and less anxiety-inducing.

    For myself, I still clam up sometimes but then open up in situations where there isn't some kind of power differential at play.   So I'm much quieter, sometimes very obviously with people asking me "What's wrong?", with anyone in any position of authority over me or with any expectations of me that I couldn't know in advance or in any environments which seem too formal or official or unpredictable.  Back home I'm relieved of all of this and can just be me.   

    I think I'll see whether I can find any good resources on this.    

  • in reply to Catlover

    Thank for your reply.  I would like to find out what is making her react like this like you said, is she unable to speak or does she not know what to say.  Thank you.