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Trouble at school

MummyEmma

Hi all, just wondered of someone could give me any advice if they are going through a similar situation. Today at school my daughter who is 7 and has a diagnosis of Asd stabbed a boy in the face with a pencil then went onto wrecking the classroom at break she blew her top because she had to come inside and resorted to taking of her skirt in front of everybody and refused to put it back on, she swore at her teacher and kicked her 1:1 assistant. The whole day was a disaster. i assumed that due to the fact the school begged for help for a 1:1 of the LEA for my daughter who was granted for the full time of school that these incidents would stop. I feel like she may not be supporting her in a preventative way which I was hoping was the purpose for her bring there. I don't know what to do, I'm dreading the school run in the morning when I have to face the child's mother. What can I do???? are there any behaviour therapies I could try? I've heard of cbt but I don't know much else about it. Or should I just stick with the school dealing with her behaviour? Xx

  • Hi - I can really appreciate how you're feeling.  I've been in a position a couple of times very similar to this.  The 1st time was for a few days only relating to respite care, but really upsetting for me + my son when he was little.  The 2nd was when he an adult + it went on, on + off, for a few yrs. To say it was v difficult is a serious underestimation. I spent I don't know how many hours over that time trying to inform the staff about autism but they really didn't get it for the most part.  In the end my son moved to get the support he needed in an environment that is much more suited to him.  At the heart of it both times : 1.  staff who didn't understand autism + didn't understand how it affected him as an individual.  2. being in the wrong environment - too busy, disorganised, too many people, etc.

    So all Mary R's advice is certainly worth ....she knows what she's talking about.  Sometimes we learn the hard way.  I don't think we shd have to for our children's sakes + our own.

     My son always went to autism-specific schools + they served him well : small classes, high pupil/staff ratio, staff who understood autism + the children in their care.  Nothing's ever perfect but I cdn't imagine him surviving in mainstream, even with a TA.

    I wish you good luck with all this.  I hope tomorrow isn't as bad as you think.  As Mary says, you need to get to the bottom of this was the head/teachers etc asap.  Don't let them blame you for their shortcomings.

  • You are welcome, I hope it will help.  Its very difficult for everyone but the better the key worker/ta knows you and your daughter the better it will be. Our head got it right when she said to the staff they need to rememer that our autistic children have a disability just like a child in a wheelchair but the difference is that it is not visible and therefore people dont always realise.  They are not being naughty, they cant help it.  Since working with these kids and having my own child diagnsed just recently I have learned so much and my attitudes have changed hugely as a result.

    I am sure your school are doing their best and equally that the ta will really appreciate any help and communication you can have with her.

    Take care, hope all will be well tomorrow

    Xx

  • Thank you so much, you have confirmed for me what I thought I should do. I can't help but doubt my decisions as I have no previous experience of Asd and your right on target the TA does not have previous experience of autism xx

    thank you for replying it really does mean a lot xx

  • How horrible for you, and your daughter too. Despite the one to one they are obviously not doing enugh to help your daughter.  I suspect from my own expeience of this from the school persective (i am an infant school teacher) that although they have t/a support that the support person however fantastic and dedicated has probably got no asd experience or understanding /trainng and has been thrown in at the deep end without any proper input.

    My advice to you is to request a meeting with the teacher and the one to one carer. Discuss routines, suggest to them what might work for your daughter in terms of coping strategies, tell them what upsets her and what she is sensitive about. See if you can email, ring or text to communicate with your daughters main helper so you can let them know about anything thats going on at home which might affect her day at school.

    In my school our autistic children arrive early with their parents and settle quietly with their t/a's before the other chidren come in.  The parents speak briefly with the ta to discuss any worries before school. Perhaps this might help you?

    Good luck. My own autisic child is now a teenager and finally in a special asd school for which I am so grateful.  I think that after year 2 it becomes much harder in mainstream for our secial kids and that they need a totally different kind of environment in which to study.

    Good luck - it is hard for you and for school too. The more you can be involved with your daughters care and routines there the better for all concerned.

    Mary