Mr "redacted- I know damn well who you are"

Also very sorry to hear that your mum's going through this. If they're who I'm assuming it is, she's one of the kindest and most thoughtful and supportive voices on here, and it would be an awful shame if it got to a point where she felt uncomfortable being on the forum - the community would be a lot poorer for her absence and I know she'd be missed a lot by many. Hopefully she feels reassured by the overwhelming number of people on here with no covert agenda, just a need for a place to feel understood and - when our mental health needs it - therapeutically 'think aloud' without being a tree falling in the forest. 

In terms of being a better son, I don't think you need to ask that - it's clear from an earlier post or two (her appreciative words) that you've been doing a great job supporting her, and helped her to navigate a very challenging few weeks/months that caused her a lot of pain.  

Looking back a few days, I think I know who 'redacted' is - which new profile, and in my naivety am only realising with hindsight because of your post/thread. Something felt a little 'off' there (the rapid parabolic trajectory of how it unfolded), but as this is a sanctuary for the neurodivergent I took it at face value even though it now seems so obvious that a certain result was being pursued, and a specific person. Indeed, I feel a little embarrassed that my own contribution to that thread was of no consequence, despite best intentions. I'm learning to finally be less trusting and more cynical, in my forties - better late than never- but I can still have terrible blindspots and I'm glad you've pointed out what you have as more vigilance certainly can't hurt. Though your mother seems very perceptive about many things, so probably had it sussed (and was classy enough to express that indirectly and politely in the recent thread, just in case) and clearly did the right thing as well. 

Hope she's doing OK, and that life starts going a little easier on you both.

Thank you for the reply, I will say this much don't be too hard on yourself Shardovan, I just felt concerned about "redacted" still trying to interact with my mother under a different name, I saw quite a few of their correspondence via email, texts etc. I didn't try to get to involved, just gave my opinions on certain aspects.

I even gave him the benefit of the doubt and phoned him myself to say he was more than welcome to come up to ours and if he was having any concerns or thoughts beforehand he was welcome to phone either me or mom.

Nothing and that was only after I got directly involved, he'd made that promise to my mom repeatedly of physically seeing each other, alongside a "Jekyll (very conversational, humorous and very good at hooking my moms emotions) and Hyde (Very accusatory and bombarding her with weird messages)" demeanour, I just saw far too many flags and I didn't want mom to feel pressured off this site, so I jumped on and gave my little warning.

Again, don't be hard on yourself, me myself I am trying to be less cynical, but when it comes to the social interactions my mom has had with men over the years (the last man being years ago), I maintain an air of cynicism.

Thank you for the reply, I will say this much don't be too hard on yourself Shardovan, I just felt concerned about "redacted" still trying to interact with my mother under a different name, I saw quite a few of their correspondence via email, texts etc. I didn't try to get to involved, just gave my opinions on certain aspects.

I even gave him the benefit of the doubt and phoned him myself to say he was more than welcome to come up to ours and if he was having any concerns or thoughts beforehand he was welcome to phone either me or mom.

Nothing and that was only after I got directly involved, he'd made that promise to my mom repeatedly of physically seeing each other, alongside a "Jekyll (very conversational, humorous and very good at hooking my moms emotions) and Hyde (Very accusatory and bombarding her with weird messages)" demeanour, I just saw far too many flags and I didn't want mom to feel pressured off this site, so I jumped on and gave my little warning.

Again, don't be hard on yourself, me myself I am trying to be less cynical, but when it comes to the social interactions my mom has had with men over the years (the last man being years ago), I maintain an air of cynicism.