Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is nine and has been referred for assessment, which has a two year waiting list in our area. There was no fight to get the referral, the school and GP both agreed it was necessary after a long meeting with my son's teacher and the ALNCo.
What we don't have is any support at the moment and there is very little available despite the fact that his meltdowns have increased in number and in the level of aggression. He's kicked holes in his bedroom door, bitten, kicked, punched, scratched and headbutted me and his father, I've ended up in A&E twice, and I'm very worried as he's started using items as weapons.
Everything I read on the internet says learn and avoid triggers and keep everyone involved safe, but triggers could be asking him to clean his teeth, or to take a break from playing a video game (he is obsessed with Mario games at the moment), or me being in work when he comes home from school as I'm still working from home. Trying to avoid everything moght be possible if it was short term while help was being put in place but we're nowhere near that.
He is having problems socially in school as he has no understanding of personal space and takes any attempt by other children to be left alone by him as a sign that they hate him, which he obviously finds distressing. The school are being very supportive and he's attending wellbeing sessions, has a support plan in place. But we're just at our wits end.
Hello NAS80700,
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your son's behaviour. Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour
You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory:
https://www.autism.org.uk/directory
You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice:
https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk. They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/
All the best,
ChloeMod
Thank you. The problem I'm finding is that he doesn't have a diagnosis and there seems to be little support locally until that has happened. We have been referred to a service for families awaiting assessment but we won't hear back from them until mid-August.
Honestly I think a lot of it is down to his anxiety about school and his struggles to get on with his peers, but we can't not send him to school. I'm tired of being hurt and just being told to try mindfulness to manage my stress about it and it breaks my heart when my son begs me to make it stop and I see how unhappy he is. And when he begs me not to make him go to school.