• Replies 17 replies
  • Subscribers 73 subscribers
  • Views 4560 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Daughter can speak but refuses

NAS80561

Hello, I was wondering is anyone was in the same boat and able to offer tips. My 3 year old daughter has a very wide range of words, much more than the average 3 year old and she can use them in play and singing and pointing out things such as animals and colour or what have you but she will not use them to communicate with us. She still won't say drink please, I'm thirsty/ hungry, I need a wee or even hello or good bye. The nursery have said about flash cards for her to show us what she wants but because she knows the words and can use them if made to I feel it won't help her to move forward. She has started on the odd occasion saying wee wee or thirsty so I want to try and carry on getting her to use them words but I don't know the best way to do this as don't want to stress her out by making her say them. Any advice would be great thank you

Parents

  • I think flash cards are the way to go, super easy, takes all the pressure off. and with that maybe she will start using words to communicate. Our therapist says that using pictures wherever possible is really helpful. 

    A bit different, our 4yo developed a stutter and after a bit we noticed that when she was playing and singing, it wasn’t there at all, just when she had to communicate. 

    She doesn’t say hello/Goodbye either, I think it’s a combination of not realising the need or/ and that it is too difficult and the same for communicating needs, she doesn’t say if she’s hungry, thirsty, tired, needs a wee, until is an absolute urgency. Even if she hurts herself it usually takes a bit of time to process it and she often tells us about it the next day and then cry’s at that point.

    With the saying hello/ goodbye our therapist said that in the way we were coming across to her, it was demanding and that it was something that was very difficult for her and she needed to feel relaxed about it, that it was a choice and completely ok if she didn’t want to. 
    He told us to drop the words for now and that trying for a little wave or even a nod and smile was a great start. 
    So now with strangers we let it be and with family and friends, we ask her if she’d like to try a little wave or she would like to but needs a little help but if she doesn’t we tell her that’s also totally ok. 

    with the above a penny clicked about eye contact. Since I became aware she had stopped giving eye contact and was often deep within her thoughts so wasn’t hearing me. I use to get down on her level in front of her and place a hand on one arm and ask her to look at me or if I needed her to listen to something I was asking her to look at me first so I knew that I had her attention.

    So in effect I was demanding eye contact which is clearly something that is uncomfortable for her. So I stopped and switched to using listen to me please only. About 2-3 wks ago I noticed she had restarted to make eye contact with Me. 

Reply

  • I think flash cards are the way to go, super easy, takes all the pressure off. and with that maybe she will start using words to communicate. Our therapist says that using pictures wherever possible is really helpful. 

    A bit different, our 4yo developed a stutter and after a bit we noticed that when she was playing and singing, it wasn’t there at all, just when she had to communicate. 

    She doesn’t say hello/Goodbye either, I think it’s a combination of not realising the need or/ and that it is too difficult and the same for communicating needs, she doesn’t say if she’s hungry, thirsty, tired, needs a wee, until is an absolute urgency. Even if she hurts herself it usually takes a bit of time to process it and she often tells us about it the next day and then cry’s at that point.

    With the saying hello/ goodbye our therapist said that in the way we were coming across to her, it was demanding and that it was something that was very difficult for her and she needed to feel relaxed about it, that it was a choice and completely ok if she didn’t want to. 
    He told us to drop the words for now and that trying for a little wave or even a nod and smile was a great start. 
    So now with strangers we let it be and with family and friends, we ask her if she’d like to try a little wave or she would like to but needs a little help but if she doesn’t we tell her that’s also totally ok. 

    with the above a penny clicked about eye contact. Since I became aware she had stopped giving eye contact and was often deep within her thoughts so wasn’t hearing me. I use to get down on her level in front of her and place a hand on one arm and ask her to look at me or if I needed her to listen to something I was asking her to look at me first so I knew that I had her attention.

    So in effect I was demanding eye contact which is clearly something that is uncomfortable for her. So I stopped and switched to using listen to me please only. About 2-3 wks ago I noticed she had restarted to make eye contact with Me. 

Children