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Teenage rows. I am so drained

Drained and confused

hei s 15. he has 'autistic processing issues' and 'adhd tendencies'  from a genetic disorder - so they are not constantly the same.

I have a jekyll and hyde and I am exhausted. I am tired of the saame rows about keeping his room tidy - to HELP him with his ORGANISATION. I am tried of nagging about homework - to HELP him keep out of trouble and succeed at school, I am tried of seeing that he doesn't have any friends in school of his own age and many don't like him because he doesn't understand the 'banter' and takes it too far.

I no longer know what to do.

I have sympathised, cajoled, supported, threatened, bribed, ignored (but I struggle to do that for long as I hate watching the consequences) but i am so so so fed up with the rows and being tolf I should just 'ignore it' by him.

When will it end? Am I alone?

Parents

  • I think from the way you’ve written maybe the issue is you think you’re helping him with life skills but how are you approaching it? Have you read about executive dysfunction? His organisation and motivation tactics are going to need to be tailored to how his brain works rather trying to do things the way “normal” people do. My room was always kinda messy but I knew where everything was. It was actually organised, at least to me. Homework is boring especially if it’s not your favourite subject and the enforced nature can be an issue for those with demand avoidance tendencies. I have to be so strict with myself that the ‘reward activity’ eg watching TV, playing games (in my case back at uni having a cigarette) needs to come after the chore but it can take a lot of self discipline and probably not something I got the hang of until my mid 20s at least. I have friends who use visual charts to help them organise themselves and keep the house clean, maybe something similar could help?  I also think you need to stop worrying about him not having friends unless he’s unhappy with that. If he’s happy as he is I don’t see why that is a problem

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