How should I explain my son's autism to his 3-5 year old friends?

Auitsmtwo, I object to your judgmental and over-critical comments.  I agree with you that to take a young child with autism to a loud environment where he would be unhappy would not be appropriate.  This is why I never put him through that kind of stress.  However, on this occasion the party was in the garden of a national trust property, with plenty of space for them to run around and suit themselves.  He wanted to go since all his friends were there. 

I refuse to prevent him from participating in activities he wants to go to.  With my undivided attention on him his anxieties were reduced, particularly during the transitions. But for much of the party he was having a great time and integrating happily with the NTs.  He was unaware of the laughing and the mean comment since he was not in the vicinity.  If any child ever upset my child (either my autistic son or NT daughter) I would act immediately.  My first priority in life is the health and happiness of my children. 

You have no idea the lengths I have taken to help my son – reading every book on autism I can lay my hands on, attending numerous courses, leaving my job to spend as much time with him as possible, taking a PhD focusing on autism and generally devoting myself to his development and happiness.  He is happy and thriving and I am very proud of him. 

Your comments are hurtful and unhelpful.  Isn’t it obvious that somebody who posts a question on this forum is somebody who only wants the best for their child?  Telling me to ‘forget the NT’ world is just ridiculous.  We live in a predominantly NT world, so what is the point of hiding him away from it.  NTs must learn tolerance, love and understanding.  If we as parents/carers give up on helping them to understand, we are also giving up on giving our autistic children the chance to live in a world that is more accepting of their disorder. 

You sound very angry and I suggest you seek out other ways to express your feelings than lashing out on parents you don’t even know on this forum.  I suggest you start by reading the Community Rules, particularly the Commenting tips (eg about being polite, not making assumptions about other members and not using capitals since they make it look like you are shouting).

This is the first and last post I will make on this forum.  I had no idea I would be faced with such a nasty response.  I am extremely grateful to the more constructive comments from the other members, but in future will look elsewhere for help and advice.

Auitsmtwo, I object to your judgmental and over-critical comments.  I agree with you that to take a young child with autism to a loud environment where he would be unhappy would not be appropriate.  This is why I never put him through that kind of stress.  However, on this occasion the party was in the garden of a national trust property, with plenty of space for them to run around and suit themselves.  He wanted to go since all his friends were there. 

I refuse to prevent him from participating in activities he wants to go to.  With my undivided attention on him his anxieties were reduced, particularly during the transitions. But for much of the party he was having a great time and integrating happily with the NTs.  He was unaware of the laughing and the mean comment since he was not in the vicinity.  If any child ever upset my child (either my autistic son or NT daughter) I would act immediately.  My first priority in life is the health and happiness of my children. 

You have no idea the lengths I have taken to help my son – reading every book on autism I can lay my hands on, attending numerous courses, leaving my job to spend as much time with him as possible, taking a PhD focusing on autism and generally devoting myself to his development and happiness.  He is happy and thriving and I am very proud of him. 

Your comments are hurtful and unhelpful.  Isn’t it obvious that somebody who posts a question on this forum is somebody who only wants the best for their child?  Telling me to ‘forget the NT’ world is just ridiculous.  We live in a predominantly NT world, so what is the point of hiding him away from it.  NTs must learn tolerance, love and understanding.  If we as parents/carers give up on helping them to understand, we are also giving up on giving our autistic children the chance to live in a world that is more accepting of their disorder. 

You sound very angry and I suggest you seek out other ways to express your feelings than lashing out on parents you don’t even know on this forum.  I suggest you start by reading the Community Rules, particularly the Commenting tips (eg about being polite, not making assumptions about other members and not using capitals since they make it look like you are shouting).

This is the first and last post I will make on this forum.  I had no idea I would be faced with such a nasty response.  I am extremely grateful to the more constructive comments from the other members, but in future will look elsewhere for help and advice.