How should I explain my son's autism to his 3-5 year old friends?

"Does anybody know of a youtube video or short animated story teaching young NT kids about autism?"

Hi Kina,

There is a great short film about sensory overload in Autism which should be shown in all the schools. Carly's experience is also excellent! Others i will add latter.

http://www.meetup.com/AutismUK/messages/boards/thread/36038632

I can try to understand where AutismTwo is coming from and its useful to gain that insight experience as we will as parents continue to have difficult challenges ahead...

If you need any help DM on twitter 

Rgs

https://twitter.com/AutismMeetup

autismtwo said:

 I think it is you that needs taught on Autism for your sons sake.

i agree with this particular statement as the specialists who work with autism in my area run a short course for parents and carers which i attended a few weeks ago, this along with watching and reading up on it from an person who has autium's point of view has helped me understand my son so much more in the past few weeks than i did before unfortunatly not every one has the opportunity to attend such courses.

kina no problem i try to read and watch anything to help educate me on it so i can fight my sons corner, you may have to keep battleing for understanding i have very few friends who dont have sen kids as may nt parents dont get it they try but after witnessing a major meltdown caused by something trivial (in thete opinion) they seem to distance themselves. thank god for my fellow sen parent friends. 

dont want to scare you but thats what happens to most of us but the friends you make due to been an sen parent will help you through 

Hi Kina - I hope you're still with us.  You are most welcome.  I hope your son quickly settles into his unit in September + enjoys his time there.  I'm presuming it's an asd unit?  bw

NAS5794 said:

Autismtwo, I have a problem with you jumping to conclusions like that, and in such an unpleasant manner. The boy may have wanted to go to the party, whether or not he knew he'd struggle there.

Kina, by all means try to explain about autism to the parents. They may be understanding, and they may speak to their children themselves. Or they may be under the all too common "my child's a little angel and would never pick on anyone" delusion. But I warn you not to expect miracles with the understanding of the children. From my experience, children can be the cruellest people in the world, and I've unfortunately grown to dislike them strongly.

Me too, that is probably why I freaked out, my parents were always putting in social environments which overwhelmed me,, i probably just saw myself as Kina's son at 4 going on 2 years old. I am not saying avoid NT environments, just parents need to be aware that talking to other kids/ parents about autism makes no difference to most of them if anything makes them more nasty to your child with autism.

Kina sorry to be so direct, but I have autism and do not wish your child to be harmed as he was at that party.

Sorry if I offended you or anyone else.

I don't understand Autismtwo's post at all. At some point, we all had (or have) to be "exposed" to NTs. I don't see how the OP has done naything wrong at all.

Please don't leave. Autism Two has autism himself and consequently may be overly blunt and insensitive to your viewpoint. I am sure he did not intend to cause upset. You know yourself that you do the best you can, so don't let someone you don't know knock you down.  It would be a shame to leave.

Thanks Alex.  I was quite thrown my this I must admit.  We parents are on the edge as it is.  I don't think I can handle more layers of negativity in my day.  But thanks I appreciate your help.

Thanks Azalea.  My response to Autismtwo is in accordance with yours.  Not helpful.  Thanks for the warning re educating the other parents and children.  Luckily he'll be in a unit from September, so I guess it'll be more likely the parents will be more understanding anyway.  Can only hope.

Thanks for your response crystal12.  I agree with you - I do try to be extremely careful about the events I do and don't take him to.  I won't give up trying to help others to understand the disorder better though.  Many thanks again.

Hi Kina,

Please be patient, and don't abandon the forum on account of the bad behaviour of one user. You are right that this is not acceptable behaviour, and we (the moderators) are considering our options.

Kind regards,

Alex R - mod

Many thanks Snooze for your helpful reply.  I will definitely try to get hold of these books.  

Auitsmtwo, I object to your judgmental and over-critical comments.  I agree with you that to take a young child with autism to a loud environment where he would be unhappy would not be appropriate.  This is why I never put him through that kind of stress.  However, on this occasion the party was in the garden of a national trust property, with plenty of space for them to run around and suit themselves.  He wanted to go since all his friends were there. 

I refuse to prevent him from participating in activities he wants to go to.  With my undivided attention on him his anxieties were reduced, particularly during the transitions. But for much of the party he was having a great time and integrating happily with the NTs.  He was unaware of the laughing and the mean comment since he was not in the vicinity.  If any child ever upset my child (either my autistic son or NT daughter) I would act immediately.  My first priority in life is the health and happiness of my children. 

You have no idea the lengths I have taken to help my son – reading every book on autism I can lay my hands on, attending numerous courses, leaving my job to spend as much time with him as possible, taking a PhD focusing on autism and generally devoting myself to his development and happiness.  He is happy and thriving and I am very proud of him. 

Your comments are hurtful and unhelpful.  Isn’t it obvious that somebody who posts a question on this forum is somebody who only wants the best for their child?  Telling me to ‘forget the NT’ world is just ridiculous.  We live in a predominantly NT world, so what is the point of hiding him away from it.  NTs must learn tolerance, love and understanding.  If we as parents/carers give up on helping them to understand, we are also giving up on giving our autistic children the chance to live in a world that is more accepting of their disorder. 

You sound very angry and I suggest you seek out other ways to express your feelings than lashing out on parents you don’t even know on this forum.  I suggest you start by reading the Community Rules, particularly the Commenting tips (eg about being polite, not making assumptions about other members and not using capitals since they make it look like you are shouting).

This is the first and last post I will make on this forum.  I had no idea I would be faced with such a nasty response.  I am extremely grateful to the more constructive comments from the other members, but in future will look elsewhere for help and advice.

Hi - it must have been a difficult situation for the both of you.  Children can be cruel  + most parents are ignorant about autism, so I would think twice about putting yourselves into positions where he'll have difficulty coping or may be subject to nastiness.  If you want  these children + adults to be better informed then that's fine, as long as they're willing. Sorry things didn't work out.

Kina said:

Hello

I took my 4 year old son with autism to an NT birthday party today, and it was clear to me that the kids did not understand his behaviour (i.e. not conforming and problems transitioning). Some laughed at him and some were nasty.  Does anybody know of a youtube video or short animated story teaching young NT kids about autism?  I believe the kids and parents could benefit from some information. I'd be so grateful for some recommendations.

Thanks

round peg in square hole scenerio,, why exposed your child to harm ... ? the problem is yours,, forget about teaching the NT world,, I PERSONALLY  believe you should not have taken your son to the birthday party, I think it is you that needs taught on Autism for your sons sake.

Sorry to be so direct,, but I spend my life with parents who just pushed me into NT circles. Your son HAS SPECIAL NEEDS FOR HIS NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION, not an exposure to a loud party.

What did you expect was going to happen there ? Your child is probably about 2 years old in real terms,, not 4, remember that.

[Edit by Alex R - mod]

if you look under the about autism bit on here there is a page of recommended reading which has a list of books that can help explain it for all age ranges. i got 'my brother is diffrent' to help get my kids understand there brother more. there is one called 'ian's walk, a story about autism' by l leers or 'my friend sam' by l hannah both could be good for young children to help understand. you could get it out to have story time if a child comes over. as for the parents they sound quite ignorant there are some vids on you tube that explain it for kids and adults but like the saying goes you can lead a horse to water but you carnt make it drink. they either want to know more or not :)