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Urgent help please!

NAS80246

Long story so bear with me. 

I'm married with 3 kids. 

13 yo son

8 yo son 

4yo daughter. 

My wife and I are 100% our 8 yo son has autism and ADHD. 

We have done work with so many groups and charities such as addvance,  palms, desc, etc etc who have all said our son certainly fits into the autism "category" 

However on assessment with his paediatrics he didn't get his diagnosis due to being to vocal in conversation and showing to much emotion/ gesture with hands.

We are at our wits end as we have no support and can't deal with this alone. 

We are extremely close to splitting up now, he only goes to school for a few hours then comes home. The school call us all the time to collect him because they can't deal or control him with his meltdowns and fight or flight moments. 

My wife is shattered, I'm shattered. I'm trying to carry on with work but that's effecting everything. 

We don't know what to do next?! We need help! Rest bite or something? 

Our 4 yo daughter is scared of our 8 yo and his behaviour. We physically and emotionally get abuse from him but it seems everything we do, we either get discharged and what feels like a not our problem type response or pointed towards yet another group that tell us the same coping techniques and courses which we have already done!

Please someone help! 

We are close to breaking SleepyCry

Parents

  • The school is acting unlawfully from a technical standpoint and they probably know this. The circumstance sets up the initial conditions for your good selves to begin a diagnostic process starting with the senco - so possibly there a bit of tactical counter intuition going on. A lot of the people that devise LA strategy cannot live without secret COC"s you know, and there are versions far more bizarre than this ofc Upside down.  But actually this is quite a standard mainstream school tactic for setting the ball rolling. It might be really worth your while, you both taking a huge breath and gaining a second wind. Reconfigure the mindset to invincible mode ( you'll need it ) and get some space for yourselves, even if this feels like neuro linguistic programming yourselves when you just want to scream. Whatever you do, its important to get your composure, shuck of the this mighty atom's or pocket sized poltergeists punishments & find a perspective that feels like something like breathable & survivable. Back in the days when our first manifested these energies i remember certain incidents. On being refused fizzy drink he waited till i was distracted, and decapitated about 10 bottles of Fanta Twist and threw them on the floor in Tesco. Another time whilst still in the day one would visit an insurance broker, he just went up to the wire hang posters and ripped them all down. This sort of thing was our new normal. Its a really disorienting dilemma you are in, but its best not lose your cool. And if you do then try not to lose your cool about losing your cool (etc) - such is the end of tether capability & we really get this.

    If you put yourself in control by following steps that can be facilitated along to SEN & then along another path with them you'll feel better. SEND IASS A separate service varies its remit around the UK. But they can often lend you an ear & might even take on a case as the middle spokespeople to all else sometimes. So long as you are certain there is a special educational need, then it needs this support. Its in the social contract, you are entitled to it.

Reply

  • The school is acting unlawfully from a technical standpoint and they probably know this. The circumstance sets up the initial conditions for your good selves to begin a diagnostic process starting with the senco - so possibly there a bit of tactical counter intuition going on. A lot of the people that devise LA strategy cannot live without secret COC"s you know, and there are versions far more bizarre than this ofc Upside down.  But actually this is quite a standard mainstream school tactic for setting the ball rolling. It might be really worth your while, you both taking a huge breath and gaining a second wind. Reconfigure the mindset to invincible mode ( you'll need it ) and get some space for yourselves, even if this feels like neuro linguistic programming yourselves when you just want to scream. Whatever you do, its important to get your composure, shuck of the this mighty atom's or pocket sized poltergeists punishments & find a perspective that feels like something like breathable & survivable. Back in the days when our first manifested these energies i remember certain incidents. On being refused fizzy drink he waited till i was distracted, and decapitated about 10 bottles of Fanta Twist and threw them on the floor in Tesco. Another time whilst still in the day one would visit an insurance broker, he just went up to the wire hang posters and ripped them all down. This sort of thing was our new normal. Its a really disorienting dilemma you are in, but its best not lose your cool. And if you do then try not to lose your cool about losing your cool (etc) - such is the end of tether capability & we really get this.

    If you put yourself in control by following steps that can be facilitated along to SEN & then along another path with them you'll feel better. SEND IASS A separate service varies its remit around the UK. But they can often lend you an ear & might even take on a case as the middle spokespeople to all else sometimes. So long as you are certain there is a special educational need, then it needs this support. Its in the social contract, you are entitled to it.

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