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Urgent help please!

NAS80246

Long story so bear with me. 

I'm married with 3 kids. 

13 yo son

8 yo son 

4yo daughter. 

My wife and I are 100% our 8 yo son has autism and ADHD. 

We have done work with so many groups and charities such as addvance,  palms, desc, etc etc who have all said our son certainly fits into the autism "category" 

However on assessment with his paediatrics he didn't get his diagnosis due to being to vocal in conversation and showing to much emotion/ gesture with hands.

We are at our wits end as we have no support and can't deal with this alone. 

We are extremely close to splitting up now, he only goes to school for a few hours then comes home. The school call us all the time to collect him because they can't deal or control him with his meltdowns and fight or flight moments. 

My wife is shattered, I'm shattered. I'm trying to carry on with work but that's effecting everything. 

We don't know what to do next?! We need help! Rest bite or something? 

Our 4 yo daughter is scared of our 8 yo and his behaviour. We physically and emotionally get abuse from him but it seems everything we do, we either get discharged and what feels like a not our problem type response or pointed towards yet another group that tell us the same coping techniques and courses which we have already done!

Please someone help! 

We are close to breaking SleepyCry

Parents

  • The school is probably acting unlawfully by sending your son home unless the Head Teacher personally makes a decision to exclude him for disciplinary reasons. Even sending a child home at lunchtime counts as an exclusion. Each exclusion should be confirmed by a letter stating your right of appeal to the governing body. The school is NOT allowed to send a child home just because they cannot meet his special needs. Don't be fobbed off by " we don't want it to go on his record " - the school is not doing you any favours by denying your legal rights. They are possibly trying to avoid having to report exclusions to the LEA in order to make their statistics look better.

    Contact your local education department and say you want to "report an illegal exclusion " - follow up with a letter or email giving dates and details, and you could also copy in Ofsted.(This will probably make you unpopular with the Head Teacher, but I am assuming you have already got past the informal "let's have a talk about my child" stage.)

    If your child has an EHCP ask for an emergency review because the school is not meeting his needs. If he does not have an EHCP, make a parental request for an assessment. I would suggest you contact the NAS advice line, a specialist SEN advice service or a lawyer specialising in SEND.

Reply

  • The school is probably acting unlawfully by sending your son home unless the Head Teacher personally makes a decision to exclude him for disciplinary reasons. Even sending a child home at lunchtime counts as an exclusion. Each exclusion should be confirmed by a letter stating your right of appeal to the governing body. The school is NOT allowed to send a child home just because they cannot meet his special needs. Don't be fobbed off by " we don't want it to go on his record " - the school is not doing you any favours by denying your legal rights. They are possibly trying to avoid having to report exclusions to the LEA in order to make their statistics look better.

    Contact your local education department and say you want to "report an illegal exclusion " - follow up with a letter or email giving dates and details, and you could also copy in Ofsted.(This will probably make you unpopular with the Head Teacher, but I am assuming you have already got past the informal "let's have a talk about my child" stage.)

    If your child has an EHCP ask for an emergency review because the school is not meeting his needs. If he does not have an EHCP, make a parental request for an assessment. I would suggest you contact the NAS advice line, a specialist SEN advice service or a lawyer specialising in SEND.

Children
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