Challenging behaviour - SEN Teachers asking for advice

NAS80219 said:

• S.I.B (Self Injurious Behaviour)
• Aggression towards staff (verbal and physical) 
• Absconding and running off 
• Disruptive behaviour (creating a difficult working environment for others) 
• Refusal to do work and listen to instructions 

What you have here is a list of effects with out causes so it's really hard to infer what might be helpful and obviously you are constrained by confidentiality so I'm going to have to speculate quite a bit.

What you are describing sounds eariliy similar to people I've known personally. It sounds like it could be complex PTSD in combination with autism. Complex PTSD being trauma that took place over a protracted period of time such as being abused by a trusted person over a long period of time. A lot of the points on this list would make sense even with out autism in that context. But of course the autism makes it particularly hard to express that trauma to others or to figure out who can be trusted.

My feeling is you probably need to make progress on dealing with the trauma before you can make significant progress on behaviour in an educational setting. She needs a network of peers (people with whom she doesn't have to worry about an authority dynamic) around her she trusts and can open up to about what she's been through.

When the 'noise' of her anger and pain has died down, or at least become more ordered in her own mind because she's been able to make 'sense' of it by working through it with others, then the residual aggression and disruptive behaviour that's left is something you can address with a package of adjustments.

Due to the trauma, she doesn't trust anyone outside of school. She does trust a few staff members which is really nice. She trusts them a lot to the point where it affects her behaviour and learning. For example, she will do well, maybe struggle a bit, in every lesson when she doesn't have one of those she fully trusts. When she does get someone she trusts, she will show pure emotion. She would be bottling things up all day and will only let it out with them because she knows she's safe and we won't push her away but comfort her instead. She hurts the ones she trusts because she knows we won't go anywhere, if that makes sense. 

It makes perfect sense and if there are already a few authority figures she trusts then I guess getting a non authority figure she can open upto might not be so critical. Of course there are levels of opening up.

I've know victims of traumatic, specifically abuse, who told their teachers and other authority figures about the abuse and were accused of lying. They never really trusted authority figures again. Might make it quite hard to open up to a school councillor too. My feeling is anyone who tries to talk to her about 'correcting her behaviour' or anything with that sort of vibe is going to close them selves off as some one she can open upto. Even if the trauma in her case wasn't abuse if it was over a protracted period of time the residual impression is likely to be that the adults in her life failed to protect her.

Add autism of top of that and she probably feels like the world blames her for what happened to her. The thing about autism, especially growing up, is people are always trying to change you. So if you're being hurt and the adults around you seem more intent on making you normal than protecting you the message that sends is that the adults around you think it's your fault the bad things happen to you.

For an adult to get through to her over the trauma they'll need to be willing to turn a blind eye to the bad behaviour. It's the difference between coming into an office and asking her 'why did you throw a chair at the teacher,' and instead asking, 'so I hear you're having a hard day,' and instead of having a long discussion about what happened in class you have a long discussion about what's going on in her head which may only tangentially relate to class and whatever triggered her outburst.

And yes that process of unraveling what's in someones head is often probative. In so far as you make a reasonable guess and ask her if this has something to do with it, like a game of 20 questions. But even if you ask her about something she's not ready to trust you with she will deny or deflect. Again my, admittedly adult friend, would give me very different answers about the things that were bothering her after a year or two of knowing me. And I didn't try to change her or impose any kinds of conditions or demands on her, if anything most of the time I was laughing at her disruptive antics that in fairness got her banned from several venues in our city.

For a teacher or councillor who also has to the the one to say 'no don't do that,' to break through to her. Well I just feel it's going to be really hard.

It makes perfect sense and if there are already a few authority figures she trusts then I guess getting a non authority figure she can open upto might not be so critical. Of course there are levels of opening up.

I've know victims of traumatic, specifically abuse, who told their teachers and other authority figures about the abuse and were accused of lying. They never really trusted authority figures again. Might make it quite hard to open up to a school councillor too. My feeling is anyone who tries to talk to her about 'correcting her behaviour' or anything with that sort of vibe is going to close them selves off as some one she can open upto. Even if the trauma in her case wasn't abuse if it was over a protracted period of time the residual impression is likely to be that the adults in her life failed to protect her.

Add autism of top of that and she probably feels like the world blames her for what happened to her. The thing about autism, especially growing up, is people are always trying to change you. So if you're being hurt and the adults around you seem more intent on making you normal than protecting you the message that sends is that the adults around you think it's your fault the bad things happen to you.

For an adult to get through to her over the trauma they'll need to be willing to turn a blind eye to the bad behaviour. It's the difference between coming into an office and asking her 'why did you throw a chair at the teacher,' and instead asking, 'so I hear you're having a hard day,' and instead of having a long discussion about what happened in class you have a long discussion about what's going on in her head which may only tangentially relate to class and whatever triggered her outburst.

And yes that process of unraveling what's in someones head is often probative. In so far as you make a reasonable guess and ask her if this has something to do with it, like a game of 20 questions. But even if you ask her about something she's not ready to trust you with she will deny or deflect. Again my, admittedly adult friend, would give me very different answers about the things that were bothering her after a year or two of knowing me. And I didn't try to change her or impose any kinds of conditions or demands on her, if anything most of the time I was laughing at her disruptive antics that in fairness got her banned from several venues in our city.

For a teacher or councillor who also has to the the one to say 'no don't do that,' to break through to her. Well I just feel it's going to be really hard.

We do use their special interest to calm them down at times. Most of the time they need different things to calm down, because its all different problems. One day, she might need a hug, a chat, a sleep, go on the swing, go for a walk, alone time but other times she might need distracting, so watching a film, talk to mum, different work or wordsearches, games. It all depends on what they need in the moment. 

Rileys special interests change overtime, one day she might be obsessed with a Teddy, the next she'll be obsessed with football, which she is at the moment. When Riley first started last year, she was frequently melting down and we found out that getting her to play catch with a ball helped. We would not talk, but we would chuck a ball at her and we would wait until she chucks it back, she liked the game and it would calm her down quickly. 

We do everything we can and we learn new things every day. For Riley, she doesn't like being distracted anymore, she likes to figure out what's bothering her and solve the issue so we do detective work with her, since she likes detective programmes. But for other students, they might need a hug and go back to work, a sleep, a chat, or distraction which works best for quite a few. Feel free to post whatever on here, it's a safe place. Thank you for responding to my questions. 

Hi, I have been following this post but haven't commented so far as I didn't feel qualified (I am 25 and in the processes of being assessed for autism). I just wanted to say that it is great that you are involving their special interests in their work- that is such a positive thing to do and I wish that was something that schools did more often- learning can be so much fun if you can follow your interests. Before you brought this up, I was wondering whether Riley has any special interests that she could use as a way of grounding herself/ calming herself down? I don't know if this would work for her but I have found that for me getting lost in a special interest can be extremely soothing and calming at times. I used to use physical activity (eg. running, cycling etc) as a way of letting off stress (and I still feel like this is one of the most effective ways for me) but I wish that I had also learnt other ways of calming down as I have been injured for a while now and really struggled not being able to use exercise as a coping mechanism. I'm sure you are already helping your students to develop lots of different coping mechanisms- I can tell from what you have written that you really care, which is great. 

Thank you for this. We learn more and more everyday with these students. They are honestly the teachers. We have training every Friday and during half terms so we learn and go over the basics. We are very good at staying calm. We have 3 main things we care about with our students  

1. Safety. Safety ALWAYS comes first.

2. Happiness and needs are being met. We do everything we can to make them happy and always making sure their needs are met. 

3. Education. If students aren't happy, or in the right frame of mind, they won't want to learn. We have an autistic curriculum and we make sure their interests are involved in the work  so it's fun and they are more likely to engage. 

Speaking as someone who has worked in an sen advisory capacity with school & colleges for more 15 years i can truly relte should your good selves feel that 9/10 is to remain composed. The plans can then go ahead & evolve, but there is no standpoint until that initial trust reinforcing phase is complete, where less is more when it comes to the schools group emotional regulation. Thus in a paraconsistent sense it is the schools own mass regulation that matters the most in one sense, but then again thats an old bedrock coming back in vogue! Any staff who are not so sure, or might become frustrated can tip a very critical balance. Not that any was ever inferred, but i'm sure you'd understand perfectly. Beyond as things move forward much choice exists as you'd know. Further abroad societal pressures are chaotic ones, social media is very influential, and sometimes a school has a very tough task in competing its mentoring, against that which takes place in social media. More to it than stranger danger, it can be a cause of stress, can be a source of influence against elders. Generally speaking it could be true to say that the same calm approach in use can overcome this should it be relevant, simply as building a trusting relationship appears to be the formula working for you. In that sense a mention of such probably has nothing to do with Riley. However it is clear as time goes on that the nature social media life is having  forms of far reaching affect expected until now & that fluctuations in mood can be caused by the noise that goes on in SM - its such an obvious distractor & the young are trying to process much of their life in virtual places. In that sense, whilst a form of physical ethos where the students can delete us would obviously defeat the object, there could be a case by which we can perceive they do not know that absolutely enough - i.e is absconding a delete ? Hence a hidden understanding of this calm stand back component might feature the way it in fact substitutes. Lets presume that was true ( we don't know if it is ) - if it were we are supplying the emotional breathing space just by that stepping back, that is a high point for the schools model. Also by showing nothing other than a well regulated emotion yourselves as facilitators, is essential its the Ethos. Nature and its way with the very obvious have the effect where its sense validity is reduced, or is undermined such is the long term knowledge etc. The human mind tends to undervalue all common things, but that won't deter a common thing from being the quintessential key to building trust. There is a bit of a phenomenological paradox there ofc, and a lot of simple things will be red herrings. However if you feel that disadvantage with emotional regulation is relevant - your patience is 95% at this point in time.  Later a more existential need might become known to you & then it'll take a more cognitive twist. One thing for sure is that from your words there springs the clear intention to actually operate as a SEN place of education. One that feels it is your task to help facilitate recovery. Put it this way. The Metacognition' sounds like a complex term that requires much study. It actually has a spectrum beginning from get up & get dressed in the morning. It can go all the way to infinite extreme but thats irrelevant. An SEN facility is actually trying to boot up students self efficacy via metacognition & is a much more simple term than most realise. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metacognition.

Such a basic understanding i.e ''thinking about thinking''. Thats what we do as soon as we turn the alarm clock off, then dress, have breakfast, send an email, leave for school. If we consider that thought forms seem to have couplings. For instance most teachers couples the thoughts  ''get up dogged tired or not'' with the underlying concept that it is their duty to self and others = coupling = self efficacy. If we do not take breakfast, we might be eating at another point in day instead. The coupling 'Eat' with at X time underneath still exists = for healthy reasons. What if there is a pointless stressful argument going on in social media that morning.  The coupling needs to be 'lets get on with the day for my own sake' If that is not there - what ?  The point is that if trust stage  is well established and stable. What support is next ? is it self defeating or dysfunctional behaviours that could cause a return to the former state ?. Bearing in mind that schools do not have a magic wand & many things are way beyond. Matters of basic importance are not though, furthermore it doesn't matter what the distractions are when it comes to turnarounds with basic awareness. The term Disillusionment with life is enough to explain the societal pressure behind many basic distractions on students. Thus in cognitive terms ( and the whole point of SEN facilitation is that it is a cognitive enrichment) what else could possibly lead to resolve & concentration by a student other than a basic metacognitive process of agreeing to agree with themselves on matters that they need or do not need as a coupling to educational awareness = their future. at least to a degree that creates positive change & gives something that can help in future. Educators can simplify also = cognitive noise = distraction = lack of attention. If there is more & safeguarding concerns arise then they shall. Otherwise what is there ? They can or cannot listen to school for X reason.. How difficult that is help with might define how long it will take to help!

In many ways all best efforts will not always result in what is hoped for as SEN is not a miracle cure. 'Metacognition' is a sort of deception again where 'thinking about thinking' is only a simple concept at its absolute root. A need to eat / overeating is not healthy = coupling = thinking about thinking = Metacognition is basic. And we note it does elegantly sail to complexity as its a very long string = metacognition can know few bounds like that.  At the' I must turn off alarm clock & get to work' = self efficacy -=Metacognition' it is positively uninspiring. Discussed from the very basic level can like earlier seem so common & insignificant we do not value it again like that darn stuff called Water. Yet it has a very logical line of evolution, and nicely sums up the difference between function and dysfunction at a low level of understanding done by everyone everyday.

Ok it doesn't have to be posh sounding 'Metacognition' true - it could x -y or z does it matter ? - NO. But certainly the combination outlined is something essential. I>E Trust and Self Efiicacy. Your posts progressed and it seemed like you began winning the trust stage day tbh. Beyond that and beyond Riley - we might not get to the bottom of the distractions. we might help them minimise the abstractions and find some desire to learn cohesion. It is not difficult to accidentally break the personal responsibility spirit of some asd young persons. Some feel they do not care what happens in the future if any part of ideal is caused to be incomplete = disillusionment. we have worrying empty hypothesis societal leanings that teach that everyone can have everything they want. This is not wise as no information concerning supplementary structures that cause some to get it and most not to are discussed. Only some will get all they want without that scaffold. Thus the encouragement is true, but only by either complex equation or in rarer cases. We choose what the most vulnerable are encouraged to believe carefully.  A lot of these young people are humiliating each other on SM where they got stuff &| the others didn't you know.  Then there can be this goss & that goss and it can all seem vitally important to them ofc. Whilst there is no doubt most students are not getting entangled, increasing numbers are. There can also be identity politics based mobbings, where what should classed trivial indiscretions, are at times reaching the level of blackmail  = owed a favour / incident confirms low pecking order status / and others. 8 9 10 11 are very delicate ages at which to go through hierarchical dilemmas. This mention has nothing to do with your own remarks no. It just something that is rearing up, whilst not enough thought has gone into the rigours that go on in WWW group dynamics. Innocently - the work load / budget / how can we evebn consider an andragogy under this pressure ? ( and so on )  The need to expand understanding in 21st century society in relation to the peer to peer matters that can arise before these young people is still there. The  concern industry does not cover such factors and cannot. A meaningful supplementation from sociological study is required. This isn't entirely specific in that way, but some schools implement Quality of Life Theory. I contribute to one of those though no interest to declare as its unpaid & voluntary, plus is not published until end of this year. That will be on a site called Researchgate in order to go with the first as part of its development.  Howeever should any general QOL theory matter sound of interest such can be found online. Some schools have SEN adaptations to QOL theory in place. An independent school in particular runs services such as seminars on the subject, training and so forth and can be sourced easily should this area seem attractive Again i have nothing to declare except i have shared QOL data with that school as a free resource.

Anyway good luck - i enjoyed reading your posts as they just resounded like something was very right about your approach & feel that things would go from strength to strength !

The school day has finished today for the students. Riley had an amazing day and coped well. She played football and then for the last part of the day, which is being rewarded for her week, she started to find challenging. She knows that it is WPR, weekly point reward, then taxi, then weekend. She had a preferred member of staff and things got a bit tricky. We still haven't found out the whole issue but it was all down to anxiety and overwhelmed. She did hit out but we offered her a hug straight away which she took. She was very upset so we did the usual to calm her down but we didn't have much luck. 

In her mind, she was overwhelmed. She was anxious about getting in the taxi, the transition, going home, her dog isn't well, she has the dentist tomorrow which everyone hates and last time I belive there was a surprise X-ray, she has a busy weekend, has to see her father, go swimming, see family. Its the first week back, there's been a lot of change and she's had enough now. Her mum is going to support her and will come up with a plan. Riley said there was even more stuff which she isn't ready to tell us about to add to the equation. Otherwise from that little blip, she has done really well, an amazing week.