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12 year old no friends

NAS80018

Hi my 12 year son has just had a diagnosis, it hasn’t come as a shock to me but taken years to get it . He is the happiest nicest boy you could meet . But doesn’t want to go out anywhere and has no friends . He started sec school in September coped really well but gets on better with staff then fellow pupils . He finds it hard to join in . At weekends / holidays he happiest in his bedroom . Anywhere suggested he’s adamant he doesn’t want to go . My daughter on the other hand is restless at home and wants to be out doing things and going places so now either my hubby or me take her on our own . It breaks my heart to think he’s in his room on his own . I seen a youth club for autistic teenagers but there’s no way he would go where other kids will be . Tried beavers / go karting / holiday clubs over the years he hates them . When he does go out it’s walking somewhere quiet / playing on a beach anywhere. He seems happy enough but it’s sad what a lovely soft boy he is . Any advice for social anxiety 

Parents

  • Hi, 

    My 13 year old son sounds just like yours. He's a lovely, sweet boy but has no interest in socialising at all. I tried doing some more social events with him and he was so uncomfortable he would ask to leave within 15 mins. If we didn't go, he would either get panicky or angry. 

    I ended up not forcing the issue too much. He's a teen, hormones are running amuck, and it was triggering challenging behaviour. My brother is 23 and also has autism, and he hates socialising! However, he is ok. He does it when he has to now he is an adult, but he would much rather be at home online gaming. He is successful at work, has a select few friends, his own place, a girlfriend. I wonder if we sometimes put too much pressure on autistic teens to socialise because it's what we expect typical teens to do? 

Reply

  • Hi, 

    My 13 year old son sounds just like yours. He's a lovely, sweet boy but has no interest in socialising at all. I tried doing some more social events with him and he was so uncomfortable he would ask to leave within 15 mins. If we didn't go, he would either get panicky or angry. 

    I ended up not forcing the issue too much. He's a teen, hormones are running amuck, and it was triggering challenging behaviour. My brother is 23 and also has autism, and he hates socialising! However, he is ok. He does it when he has to now he is an adult, but he would much rather be at home online gaming. He is successful at work, has a select few friends, his own place, a girlfriend. I wonder if we sometimes put too much pressure on autistic teens to socialise because it's what we expect typical teens to do? 

Children