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New to this for my 8 year old and feel alone

NAS79621

Good morning , 

I'm just looking for some advice /support /or just to know I'm not going insane ! 

My son after a long wait was diagnosed in summer 2021 with ASD and he has very high anixety . 

He always has and still struggles with school , doesnt want to leave me in the mornings, then there is 9 times put of 10 a meltdown  when home about another child or the teacher etc usually its "the teacher shouts " or another child is not been nice , calling him names , hitting him but he then gets fixated  on that. This can happen at club  or other places , trampoline parks etc where he then becomes emotionally dis regulated and is crying , shouting and most recently punching furniture with frustration I guess , especially if he thinks the other child should be spoke to /displined and isn't. He is in mainstream class .

He is very literal and always looking for reassurance from me about foods he's eating , that he won't get fat , his teeth won't fall out etc and has to be pinky promised everytime he eats something. 

Bedtime can be a battle , he has to have teddy's,  curtains,  lights etc all a certain way then before he settles he asks me the same worry questions like ,do I promise he won't choke , die , go blind , scary stuff won't get him etc etc 

Once reassured he will eventually go to sleep but wakes and climbs into my bed in  the night  and then is still up at 6.30am .

Sorry that's a bit long but I feel l sometimes like I'm judged as he comes across to people as well "normal" I guess then if he's having meltdown it can just look like to others he is been a pest but I know he can't control it .

Thank x

Parents

  • Thank you for your support .

    That is my son if they change the tone of there voice I think he thinks there shouting as he will do it at home and ask us to stop if we are been firm if he's not listening,  done something wrong . 

    I am in regular meetings with school and I think they are trying to support him but lack staff and knowledgeable ones at that.  He was getting a staff member that would wait for him at reception to take him down to class but he is very aware of everyone else and didn't want to look different to his peers . 

    We have just started breakfast club 2 days a week so that transition from me straight into a school work isn't to much and he seems to be enjoying it so far .

    Yes bedtime he always has to do and say the same things before he settles and then is up in the night jumping into my bed !

    He is really struggling with his peers at the moment making friends and communication he has never had a problem with but he struggles if someone is been mean to him or hitting him and then more so if there not made to say sorry or disiplined . He then in turn becomes fixated on this person and wants to follow them around 

  • in reply to NAS79621

    It's good he is enjoying breakfast club. The local authorities have autism specialists who may be able to advise school, but they vary. 

    Being seen to be different is a big challenge. My son rejects any help that highlights that. 

    Making friends is a difficult thing and that makes the school experience so much more difficult. My son's primary school sometimes had organized games at lunchtimes.

    It can be so hard seeing your child struggling and not being able to do more to help.

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  • in reply to NAS79621

    It's good he is enjoying breakfast club. The local authorities have autism specialists who may be able to advise school, but they vary. 

    Being seen to be different is a big challenge. My son rejects any help that highlights that. 

    Making friends is a difficult thing and that makes the school experience so much more difficult. My son's primary school sometimes had organized games at lunchtimes.

    It can be so hard seeing your child struggling and not being able to do more to help.

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