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Advice on how to deal with extreme anxiety in young child ?

Vicki

Really need advice my son is 5 on the waiting list for diagnosis for autism but I also suspect adhd but since Friday very suddenly he has developed a fear of everything. Pieces of fluff from clothing and the carpet, bugs , any type of noise tonight a meltdown has started because he heard a creak while in the bathroom and he was screaming and holding on to me and his sister like he was genuinely terrified. He was shaking and histerical screaming, shaking and sweating and him screaming  I’m scared over and over. I’ve tried breathing techniques and showing him there is nothing scary, tried to distract him with games and toys but as soon as I leave the room he will start again. He is very obviously tired and refuses to lie down because he’s now scared of his bed. I just don’t know how to help him Weary it’s stressing me out as I also have an 8 month old and his 2 older siblings are getting annoyed and frustrated with the screaming.

Parents

  • Well the fear might come from things that he thinks might harm him, and he does not want you or anyone else to leave the room, because he'll lose his sense of safety and protection and feel vulnerable.

    So get one of his stuffed animals (preferably a tough looking one), and tell him that you're going to put this stuffed animal to watch the door and guard over him while he sleeps. And then he can hold another stuffed animal for comfort. I mean if he has some sort of action figure, that could be used too. This might give him a sense of security and comfort as he sleeps. 

  • in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

    I tried to get him to hug his favourite teddy tonight and said he will keep him safe. He also shares a room with his older brother who I said will keep him safe too. He has settled a bit but as soon as any of us leave the room you can see the anxiety building and he starts saying I’m scared.

Reply Children
  • in reply to Vicki

    The important thing is that he has someone to guard and protect him as he sleeps, which is why using a toy that has the role to guard and watch over him is essential to ease his distress, and so placing the toy on a table to watch the door is an important aspect. And face the toy so that the child is behind the toy to mimic the sense of security of being shielded by a parent. But don't face any toys to stare at the child, that can get creepy. 

    I mean a child just holding a stuffed animal won't make him feel protected. Him holding a stuffed animal is like you holding a baby, do you feel like the baby can protect you against attackers? No. Young children understand this, because when given a doll they can mimic the caretaking and nurturing roles of a parent (to an extent. I mean sometimes they start bashing the dolls around). So holding a stuffed animal has similar psychological effects as holding a baby does. It makes them feel like they are taking care of it, rather than feeling safe and protected by it. So in times when they are scared, they want someone to protect and watch over them, and just holding a stuffed animal won't fulfill that need. 

    Also his older brother will need to fall asleep at some point during the night, and if the younger one is still awake, he might become scared because his protector has fallen asleep, leaving him alone and vulnerable. That's why a toy is good, it does not need to sleep, I'll keep defending and guarding from dusk till dawn, and as long as the child feels that sense of security that won't leave him, it's easier for him to fall asleep.