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Help with school

StevieBee

Hi, Am new to the forum but reading up and learning as much as I can since my daughter was recently diagnosed. 

Her main problem. And almost the only major problem in an otherwise normal little 10 year old, is school. Since starting year 6, and the increasing academic pressures that come with it, she has struggled a lot with school. At first, she would be hesitant to go in. Now, she point blank refuses, runs out of lessons and struggles to regulate herself. She has SEN support, is awaiting a care plan, following all the usual meetings, and we got an official diagnosis recently through a private setting. We are looking at high schools, and what is best for her, and I'm keen that whatver we do for her, she leads as normal childhood as is possible. 

Does anyone have any useful hints and tips to help her regulate herself at school (and at home), if you've had any similar experiences? in order to help make her school life as normal as is possible? 

Thanks in advance

SB

Parents

  • My son struggled more as school became more difficult academically. I guess she is probably finding things difficult as she is getting near to a major change. Most secondary schools offer extra visits for children with Special Needs. Regarding the most appropriate High School I would ask a lot of questions about Special Needs provision, experience of autism and how they currently support pupils.

    Our son still struggles to attend school every day, so we encourage starting school later if he can't make the beginning of the day. We keep in touch with a key member of the support staff. He finds having a shower in the morning helps him regulate before school.

    Regarding regulating at home, listening to music with headphones helps and cuts out external noises. We also have a regular bedtime routine watching children's TV on I player and a snack before the transition to bed. We usually prepare his toothbrush too to reduce the demands at this time. 

  • in reply to Homebird

    I agree Homebird. Working with the school to find reasonable adjustments that reduce stress levels really helps. Also reducing stress levels overall at home reduces anxiety overall which will help. 
    There are no easy answers but the most destructive thing is undoubtedly putting pressure on autistic children - it only makes things worse and ramps up anxiety levels. The important thing is to listen - make sure she knows you are truly hearing her and recognising her distress, and that you will work with her to find something that she can cope with. Also - do your absolute best to keep you relationship with the school as positive as you can - as you have to keep them on side. If that relationship breaks down it’s so difficult. So even if the school are not being as helpful as you would like be as positive as you can - but be FIRM and be informed. You might sometimes have to ‘fight’ to get support and adjustments made for your daughter - but do it in a way that you keep the school on side. It’s a difficult balance. 

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  • in reply to Homebird

    I agree Homebird. Working with the school to find reasonable adjustments that reduce stress levels really helps. Also reducing stress levels overall at home reduces anxiety overall which will help. 
    There are no easy answers but the most destructive thing is undoubtedly putting pressure on autistic children - it only makes things worse and ramps up anxiety levels. The important thing is to listen - make sure she knows you are truly hearing her and recognising her distress, and that you will work with her to find something that she can cope with. Also - do your absolute best to keep you relationship with the school as positive as you can - as you have to keep them on side. If that relationship breaks down it’s so difficult. So even if the school are not being as helpful as you would like be as positive as you can - but be FIRM and be informed. You might sometimes have to ‘fight’ to get support and adjustments made for your daughter - but do it in a way that you keep the school on side. It’s a difficult balance. 

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