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DLA, good behavior in school but not at home

wood36

Hi! just wonder if someone could possibly give me a bit of suggestion?

My ASD 10yr son is independent in school but completely opposite at home, he still needs my one-to-one assistance for very basic daily routine e.g. changing, bathing, brushing teeth. getting up, carrying him to toilet etc. He often refuses to walk so that I have to carry him a lot (10yrs! oh my god!) But he un/dresses himself in school and walks in school or during little school trips, requests toilet. But at home if I don’t help him, nothing starts.

I am planning to apply for DLA. I quite often heard that DLA is judged (mainly) based on school reports, so if the school report says he is good, there is no chance to get DLA.   

How do I convince the decision makers that he genuinely needs a lot of help at home and he is not just lazy, although he (technically) CAN do in school. How do I justify these extreme behavioral differences are due to his autism?

I would very much appreciate if someone could help me. Many thanks

Parents

  • I have 5 children of whom 3 of them have autism.  My oldest daughter who is 19 has ADHD and she went through a bad stage but as she has got older she has it more under control. My oldest son displays aggression and the most awful rages as he gets frustrated or he gets stressed out by things he doesnt understand.  Also I have to do everything for him at home from dressing him to bathing him but he is very challenging.  The hyperactivity is bad not so much at home but at school he is aggressive and when he gets told off he crawls under the table and wont come out and enjoys the attention and he plays on this.  

    My middle son is a different story all together he is quiet and withdrawn at school and he wets himself most days.  At home he is so aggressive he attacks his little sister and the distruction which has been caused by both boys is unbelieveable.  The swearing is terrible as well as the hyperactivity.

    The thing is people have seen my sons mainly misbehaving and being distructive and have reported their behaviour over the years to social services who have now taken all but the oldest of my children saying that there bad behaviour aggressive behaviour at home and at school is caused by me not parenting them properly and now I am due in court to try and get them back which the social worker has said in his report that I am not a good enough parent for them.

    My social worker has said it is better for them to be in care and looked after someone that knows what they are doing.  So I have contact with my 4 children for one hour on a monday and one hour on the thursday.  I have a real fight on my hands because my children have this ADHD it has broken my heart and I dont know what to do can anyone suggest anything or has someone gone through the same.

Reply

  • I have 5 children of whom 3 of them have autism.  My oldest daughter who is 19 has ADHD and she went through a bad stage but as she has got older she has it more under control. My oldest son displays aggression and the most awful rages as he gets frustrated or he gets stressed out by things he doesnt understand.  Also I have to do everything for him at home from dressing him to bathing him but he is very challenging.  The hyperactivity is bad not so much at home but at school he is aggressive and when he gets told off he crawls under the table and wont come out and enjoys the attention and he plays on this.  

    My middle son is a different story all together he is quiet and withdrawn at school and he wets himself most days.  At home he is so aggressive he attacks his little sister and the distruction which has been caused by both boys is unbelieveable.  The swearing is terrible as well as the hyperactivity.

    The thing is people have seen my sons mainly misbehaving and being distructive and have reported their behaviour over the years to social services who have now taken all but the oldest of my children saying that there bad behaviour aggressive behaviour at home and at school is caused by me not parenting them properly and now I am due in court to try and get them back which the social worker has said in his report that I am not a good enough parent for them.

    My social worker has said it is better for them to be in care and looked after someone that knows what they are doing.  So I have contact with my 4 children for one hour on a monday and one hour on the thursday.  I have a real fight on my hands because my children have this ADHD it has broken my heart and I dont know what to do can anyone suggest anything or has someone gone through the same.

Children
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