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DLA, good behavior in school but not at home

wood36

Hi! just wonder if someone could possibly give me a bit of suggestion?

My ASD 10yr son is independent in school but completely opposite at home, he still needs my one-to-one assistance for very basic daily routine e.g. changing, bathing, brushing teeth. getting up, carrying him to toilet etc. He often refuses to walk so that I have to carry him a lot (10yrs! oh my god!) But he un/dresses himself in school and walks in school or during little school trips, requests toilet. But at home if I don’t help him, nothing starts.

I am planning to apply for DLA. I quite often heard that DLA is judged (mainly) based on school reports, so if the school report says he is good, there is no chance to get DLA.   

How do I convince the decision makers that he genuinely needs a lot of help at home and he is not just lazy, although he (technically) CAN do in school. How do I justify these extreme behavioral differences are due to his autism?

I would very much appreciate if someone could help me. Many thanks

Parents

  •  Hi - just a thought.  My son used to (+ still does to a degree) compartmentalise some aspects of his life.  When he was little there were only certain meals he wd eat, but ate other meals elsewhere.  We had a bedtime routine but I'm not sure it was duplicated elsewhere.  Things like that.  He may expect you to do all these things for him because you always have since he was little.  He cd well get upset if you tried to change that (I'm sure you've tried!). School's different with different rules + has always been so, therefore he follows "school rules" + when he gets in "home rules".    It'll be difficult for the dwp to appreciate all this, altho we on here understand.  You cd get letters from various professionals to back you up.  Perhaps they cd visit when he's not at school?  You cd get someone to video you at home with him + write on the dla form that you have video evidence to back up your claim.  There will be advice via the home pg about dla etc.  Also it can be helpful to get someone from CAB or similar to help completing the form, if you wanted to do it that way.  Also, I hope you don't mind me saying what you already know, but there will come a point when you can't lift him etc.  My son always had his bedroom lamp on because it had been that way since he was little.  When he was nearly 14 we sd to him that he didn't need his lamp on anymore once he got to 14.  At bedtime we reminded him that he was now 14 + he switched it off - no probs.  I know most things don't work out that way, esp if something's been done for yrs, but maybe you cd try a permutation on that theme with 1 habit + try + work thru them bit by bit?  Good luck with everything.

Reply

  •  Hi - just a thought.  My son used to (+ still does to a degree) compartmentalise some aspects of his life.  When he was little there were only certain meals he wd eat, but ate other meals elsewhere.  We had a bedtime routine but I'm not sure it was duplicated elsewhere.  Things like that.  He may expect you to do all these things for him because you always have since he was little.  He cd well get upset if you tried to change that (I'm sure you've tried!). School's different with different rules + has always been so, therefore he follows "school rules" + when he gets in "home rules".    It'll be difficult for the dwp to appreciate all this, altho we on here understand.  You cd get letters from various professionals to back you up.  Perhaps they cd visit when he's not at school?  You cd get someone to video you at home with him + write on the dla form that you have video evidence to back up your claim.  There will be advice via the home pg about dla etc.  Also it can be helpful to get someone from CAB or similar to help completing the form, if you wanted to do it that way.  Also, I hope you don't mind me saying what you already know, but there will come a point when you can't lift him etc.  My son always had his bedroom lamp on because it had been that way since he was little.  When he was nearly 14 we sd to him that he didn't need his lamp on anymore once he got to 14.  At bedtime we reminded him that he was now 14 + he switched it off - no probs.  I know most things don't work out that way, esp if something's been done for yrs, but maybe you cd try a permutation on that theme with 1 habit + try + work thru them bit by bit?  Good luck with everything.

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