please help

Hello, Im need any advice or help anybody can offer. My son is 9 years old. He was diognosed with asd 4 years ago. He also has high anxiety. I am really struggling. One of the main problems is with school. He hate leaving me in the morning, From the moment i wake him up its such a struggle just to get home out of bed. He cries and screems, Hits hiself and sometimes me. I really try to keep calm myself but i very occasionally get upset and shout at hime which makes hime worse. I just about manage to get hime dressed only for him to undress again. After a very long battle with this i then literally drag him from the house to the car. All the way to school he is screeming and pulliing on the steering wheel trying to get me to go back home. Once at school i get put of the car and stand outside listening to him screeming and begging me to take him home. He has a support worker for about 5 minutes each morning who coes out to meet us. (i used to be able to walk him into the school reception but was told last week we can no longer do this as his crying can alarm the other children). When the support comes out she tries to drag him from me. He shouts mummy please dont let her take me. He always calls me mum only using mummy in the mornings. After five minutes of him holding me he is literally dragged off screaming and shouting. The teachers tell me he is ok after a while at school but he tells be different. He says he cries at school and is ignored by some teachers. He has 2 friends at school. As soon as i pick him up he is already worring about the next day. He doesnt sleep and takes melotonin to help. on quite a few occasions he has had a full blown panic attack in the mornings making himself sick and has terrible chest pains. I have been told by the school and some friends that this is all my fault as im to soft on him and that he is just pulling heart strings to try and get me to allow him to stay off school. I tell them they just do not get it but now im thinking is it my fault????. His attendance at school is good he only has time of when he is poorly or a couple of times after a panic attack. He attends CAMHs weeklyfor councilling...Please help i need someone to tell me if it is my fault and if so what can i do about it..

Thank you

Parents
  • jenny, it definetley is not your fault, has crystal 12 has said school hasnt got a clue and it definetly seems that way. If cahms are involved I am shocked to hear they have not recommended that you keep him off school.  I have heard so many stories of the same situation going on.

    If i were you i would keep him off school, contact your gp and see if they could possibly sign him off due to his high anxiety's. Has he got a statement? is anyone else involved? Is there a chance for a multi agency meeting???

    You may be able to get some home tuition for a while till a right setting can be found and the right support for your son.  Maybe cahms could help more, do they know how he is from the moment he wakes up?????

     

Reply
  • jenny, it definetley is not your fault, has crystal 12 has said school hasnt got a clue and it definetly seems that way. If cahms are involved I am shocked to hear they have not recommended that you keep him off school.  I have heard so many stories of the same situation going on.

    If i were you i would keep him off school, contact your gp and see if they could possibly sign him off due to his high anxiety's. Has he got a statement? is anyone else involved? Is there a chance for a multi agency meeting???

    You may be able to get some home tuition for a while till a right setting can be found and the right support for your son.  Maybe cahms could help more, do they know how he is from the moment he wakes up?????

     

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