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Toddler Unhappy at Nursery

NAS78698

Hi there

My 23-month old son is on the pathway for a diagnosis of ASD currently. The nursery completed their part of the assessment and it painted a fairly unpleasant picture of my son being easily upset, distressed, lonely and even perceived as 'difficult' by the nursery staff.

He attends nursery 2 days per week and recently he has been getting particularly upset when we arrive and I say good bye. 

Is nursery a normally healthy place for ASD children to be? I feel so clueless and my concern is that ultimately, if it's not the right place for him then is he being constantly traumatised...? I just want to do the right thing with no idea who to ask...

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Parents

  • I would have to agree with Kate below - our son found nursery and school difficult - school said it was ok and he'd get used to it and he was fine once I had left.  But he didn't ever really get on well with school.  Like Kate's son, my son also became selectively mute due to extreme anxiety.  He didn't get any early years support as he didn't have a diagnosis, and he crashed out of school with mental health issues when he was older.  He is still 'recovering' from the trauma of school failures 10 years on.  I too wish I'd had the courage to trust my instincts sooner even though I didn't have a 'what next' plan or even a diagnosis.  

    On a practical note though, once your son reaches compulsory school age you will need to try to find somewhere that can understand and support him.  I have a friend whose son got great support in early years at school because her son had a daignosis early on, and and EHCP, and he is now fine at secondary school.  A montessouri school might help as they often have a more flexibile approach. If you have a daignosis that will really help.  Also, if you can get the nursery to documnet in a letter the evidence they have seen that may also prove to be very useful in helping you get support.

    I would suggest looking in to when is the earliest you can apply for an EHCP (Educational Health Care Plan) from your council which would set out what the school needs to provide to support your son in accessing education.  I realy believe early intervention is key if you can manage to get it in place. All things that, with hindsight, I left far too late.

  • in reply to Learning as we go...

    I agree with absolutely everything that’s said above by ‘Learning as we go’. . Repeatedly putting our autistic children in to incredibly stressful situations that they find distressing DOES THEM HARM. 

    And it can have serious, long term consequences for them. 

    Listen to what your son is trying to tell you. Trust your instincts. 

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