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Toddler Unhappy at Nursery

NAS78698

Hi there

My 23-month old son is on the pathway for a diagnosis of ASD currently. The nursery completed their part of the assessment and it painted a fairly unpleasant picture of my son being easily upset, distressed, lonely and even perceived as 'difficult' by the nursery staff.

He attends nursery 2 days per week and recently he has been getting particularly upset when we arrive and I say good bye. 

Is nursery a normally healthy place for ASD children to be? I feel so clueless and my concern is that ultimately, if it's not the right place for him then is he being constantly traumatised...? I just want to do the right thing with no idea who to ask...

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Parents

  • If he’s really showing signs of distress and not happy there then I would take him out - no question. He’s only 23 months and he has limited ways of communicating but the signs are there aren’t they? That he doesn’t want to be there? 
    I also don’t like the way the staff are talking about your son. All toddlers could be described as “difficult” - the key thing is knowing how to help them to feel safe and happy - not categorising them  in such a negative way. 

    my son was unhappy when he started school. The school told me it was ok and that he would ‘get used to it’. I was wrong to accept what they told me - but I didn’t have the confidence to act - even though my instincts told me that my son was deeply unhappy there and I shouldn’t keep repeatedly putting him in a situation that was distressing for him. Just leaving things as they are does not address your son’s unhappiness with nursery. My son developed Selective Mutism when he started school due to the stress of trying to cope with school. 

    Take your son’s distress seriously and act on the signs he is sending you. If you don’t his mental health will likely suffer. 

Reply

  • If he’s really showing signs of distress and not happy there then I would take him out - no question. He’s only 23 months and he has limited ways of communicating but the signs are there aren’t they? That he doesn’t want to be there? 
    I also don’t like the way the staff are talking about your son. All toddlers could be described as “difficult” - the key thing is knowing how to help them to feel safe and happy - not categorising them  in such a negative way. 

    my son was unhappy when he started school. The school told me it was ok and that he would ‘get used to it’. I was wrong to accept what they told me - but I didn’t have the confidence to act - even though my instincts told me that my son was deeply unhappy there and I shouldn’t keep repeatedly putting him in a situation that was distressing for him. Just leaving things as they are does not address your son’s unhappiness with nursery. My son developed Selective Mutism when he started school due to the stress of trying to cope with school. 

    Take your son’s distress seriously and act on the signs he is sending you. If you don’t his mental health will likely suffer. 

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