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Sick to death of ignorant people

Lau

Today my neighbour asked if my child is going to the local mainstream school for primary 1, I said no he’s in a specialist nursery just now as he needs a lot of support and he will be attending a specialist school where his needs will be better met and she said your sons only borderline autistic look at him he looks like a wee angel. She then said Hopefully primary 2 he will go to the local school as you want him in mainstream.

I responded with your either autistic or your not autistic you can’t be borderline. She then went on to say maybe if he took his dummy out he would talk better. I responded his dummy is a comfort to him. She then said to my son take that dummy out your mouth and he then immediately took his dummy out and just stood there staring. 

I felt rage and wanted to tell her to *** off. Obviously I didn’t as I’m not that type of person and I don’t want to cause friction with my neighbours but I don’t want to be questioned over some idiotic woman in her 50s who has clearly no experience of autistic individuals. 


I trip up over my words and almost get stumped at times when people ask uncomfortable questions my mind almost goes blank and I can’t get an appropriate response out to put someone in there place politely. 

Can I ask how you handle people like this.? 

Parents

  • The more knowledge I've gotten about Neurotypical Psychology, the easier it gets for me to respond.

    This woman clearly has Control Issues: "Sorry, you'll need to get a hold on your control issues as my son is not yours to control. Perhaps you could abuse your own children instead?"

    She's INSANELY ignorant. "I'm sorry you haven't kept up on the differences between the Neurotic-Paranoiac brain and the Autistic-Analytical brain. My son might not be at a Neuroypical pace, but we don't force a process in this family. We allow them to gain deep understanding not just intake useless and outdated information"

    She's disrespectful, ill-mannered, condescending and ARROGANT. "Oh wow. Yeah. How about... Fvk off?" with a sweet smile and shrug is entirely appropriate for her inappropriate ignorance. She'll infect others like a bad flu. "I don't have time today" and continue to reiterate this - also appropriate. "Don't talk to my children or I'll get a restraint" might be extreme. But you could imply that you had to get one for some other Controlling, Paranoid Neurotic (this is a clinical an perfectly reasonable term btw, see Jaques Lacan).

    Psychoanalysis has some excellent stuff to offer regarding the Neuro-typical functioning. They take to this Guilt-Shame encoding called Oedipalization. It's internalised and they run around like tiny Oedipal machines trying to control and dominate one another.  

    I still go mute occasionally. It used to happen all the time when I was younger. Years of research later, I try to stay more alert to this nonsense and assert boundaries. We're nice unless pushed. Then it's a hard No. 

    Edit: if you can try to End conversations with her as quick as she tries to start them. For individuals Like this, I usually leave reminders until the problem is sorted, even post-it notes in the Kitchen or by the Front Door. I might also practice a tactical distraction. Q "Is he going to primary" Response "Nope!" Or intentionally no answer followed by "I believe our new neighbours child is". Full stop.

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  • The more knowledge I've gotten about Neurotypical Psychology, the easier it gets for me to respond.

    This woman clearly has Control Issues: "Sorry, you'll need to get a hold on your control issues as my son is not yours to control. Perhaps you could abuse your own children instead?"

    She's INSANELY ignorant. "I'm sorry you haven't kept up on the differences between the Neurotic-Paranoiac brain and the Autistic-Analytical brain. My son might not be at a Neuroypical pace, but we don't force a process in this family. We allow them to gain deep understanding not just intake useless and outdated information"

    She's disrespectful, ill-mannered, condescending and ARROGANT. "Oh wow. Yeah. How about... Fvk off?" with a sweet smile and shrug is entirely appropriate for her inappropriate ignorance. She'll infect others like a bad flu. "I don't have time today" and continue to reiterate this - also appropriate. "Don't talk to my children or I'll get a restraint" might be extreme. But you could imply that you had to get one for some other Controlling, Paranoid Neurotic (this is a clinical an perfectly reasonable term btw, see Jaques Lacan).

    Psychoanalysis has some excellent stuff to offer regarding the Neuro-typical functioning. They take to this Guilt-Shame encoding called Oedipalization. It's internalised and they run around like tiny Oedipal machines trying to control and dominate one another.  

    I still go mute occasionally. It used to happen all the time when I was younger. Years of research later, I try to stay more alert to this nonsense and assert boundaries. We're nice unless pushed. Then it's a hard No. 

    Edit: if you can try to End conversations with her as quick as she tries to start them. For individuals Like this, I usually leave reminders until the problem is sorted, even post-it notes in the Kitchen or by the Front Door. I might also practice a tactical distraction. Q "Is he going to primary" Response "Nope!" Or intentionally no answer followed by "I believe our new neighbours child is". Full stop.

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