Sick to death of ignorant people

Today my neighbour asked if my child is going to the local mainstream school for primary 1, I said no he’s in a specialist nursery just now as he needs a lot of support and he will be attending a specialist school where his needs will be better met and she said your sons only borderline autistic look at him he looks like a wee angel. She then said Hopefully primary 2 he will go to the local school as you want him in mainstream.

I responded with your either autistic or your not autistic you can’t be borderline. She then went on to say maybe if he took his dummy out he would talk better. I responded his dummy is a comfort to him. She then said to my son take that dummy out your mouth and he then immediately took his dummy out and just stood there staring. 

I felt rage and wanted to tell her to *** off. Obviously I didn’t as I’m not that type of person and I don’t want to cause friction with my neighbours but I don’t want to be questioned over some idiotic woman in her 50s who has clearly no experience of autistic individuals. 


I trip up over my words and almost get stumped at times when people ask uncomfortable questions my mind almost goes blank and I can’t get an appropriate response out to put someone in there place politely. 

Can I ask how you handle people like this.? 

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  • Yes Martin your right I was being ageist, in hindsight I’ve used the wrong words. I apologise for that.  

    I’ve judged her by her age as I’ve had a few experiences now all with older women who have commented similar things such as he doesn’t look like he’s has autism, I bet your glad he doesn’t look disabled, they grow out of autism as long as your a strict parent, and as she has said to me yesterday he looks like an angel so he must only be borderline autistic. 

  • A bit ageist. I think that there are thoughtless and inappropriately assertive people in all age groups. I have come across numbers of ignorant and baselessly opinionated teenagers. The basics of human behaviour have probably not changed much over the last 30,000 years, a generation or two is nothing. I'm 60 and, being autistic and a biomedical scientist, I know a good deal about autism.