• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 70 subscribers
  • Views 1226 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Help on how to be a patient parent :(

Ros5147

Hi all, 

Looking for some advice before I truly lose my mind. 

My 10 Yr old is currently awaiting diagnosis, but likely ASD, slow processing, dyslexia. I also have a totally opposite advanced neurotypical 6 year old. 

I'm a single mum, renovating our house and working 2 jobs to pay the mortgage, something I'm proud of doing alone. 

But, coming from a family of hard working, motivated, achievers and with zero patience... I'm ashamed to admit that I'm really struggling to cope with my 10 year old who .

I truly don't know how to parent him. All the stress of day to day falls on me, school runs, homework (or lack of it and battles to do it), getting him up, getting him to bed etc. All me. And it's truly taking it's toll. I'm stressed and getting snappy and angry.

His dad has contact, we are good friends, but he's not helpful!! We can't share parenting anymore than we do due to his work commitments and distance we live away. All my family are too far away. 

Please help, I don't know what to do. I'm not enjoying my time with my boy, he isn't motivated to do anything. I shout a lot,  something I've never done before... I feel like the worst parent in the world. 

Everything is a battle :( and I'm losing

Parents

  • The lack of focus and motivation, at least in a few specific areas, does not sound typically autistic; have you, or any clinicians involved, considered that he may also have ADD? ADD and ADHD are fairly common in autistics. The upside of ADD and ADHD is, unlike autism, they do respond to therapeutic drugs.

    I was entirely unmotivated to do homework, as it interfered with the peace and quiet of home-time that I needed to recover from the draining social pressures of school. However, I ended up with 3 university degrees and a career in scientific research, so, unlike the spiel trotted out by today's teachers, homework is not really all that important, if you are working during the school day. Also, in Finland, where they have one of the best educational systems in the world, as measured by outcomes, homework is virtually unknown.

Reply

  • The lack of focus and motivation, at least in a few specific areas, does not sound typically autistic; have you, or any clinicians involved, considered that he may also have ADD? ADD and ADHD are fairly common in autistics. The upside of ADD and ADHD is, unlike autism, they do respond to therapeutic drugs.

    I was entirely unmotivated to do homework, as it interfered with the peace and quiet of home-time that I needed to recover from the draining social pressures of school. However, I ended up with 3 university degrees and a career in scientific research, so, unlike the spiel trotted out by today's teachers, homework is not really all that important, if you are working during the school day. Also, in Finland, where they have one of the best educational systems in the world, as measured by outcomes, homework is virtually unknown.

Children
No Data