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Help on how to be a patient parent :(

Ros5147

Hi all, 

Looking for some advice before I truly lose my mind. 

My 10 Yr old is currently awaiting diagnosis, but likely ASD, slow processing, dyslexia. I also have a totally opposite advanced neurotypical 6 year old. 

I'm a single mum, renovating our house and working 2 jobs to pay the mortgage, something I'm proud of doing alone. 

But, coming from a family of hard working, motivated, achievers and with zero patience... I'm ashamed to admit that I'm really struggling to cope with my 10 year old who .

I truly don't know how to parent him. All the stress of day to day falls on me, school runs, homework (or lack of it and battles to do it), getting him up, getting him to bed etc. All me. And it's truly taking it's toll. I'm stressed and getting snappy and angry.

His dad has contact, we are good friends, but he's not helpful!! We can't share parenting anymore than we do due to his work commitments and distance we live away. All my family are too far away. 

Please help, I don't know what to do. I'm not enjoying my time with my boy, he isn't motivated to do anything. I shout a lot,  something I've never done before... I feel like the worst parent in the world. 

Everything is a battle :( and I'm losing

Parents

  • Gently  helping him achieve his full potential ,that is the best you can do . Remember we are all different , Being autistic in this world is hard enough ,Being autistic  without an understanding parent, without a safe place is a nightmare .  Think of the long run .  I was all of the things above and a lot worse , we are just late bloomers .We work in a different way , i never did homework still got 11 o levels ,only had a job for one year, didn't see the point ,so worked  for myself .  I Own my 5 bedroom house and 16 acres outright ,just do the things i enjoy , wife ,6 kids .  Remember he is not doing it to annoy you , be his friend and he will be yours .

Reply

  • Gently  helping him achieve his full potential ,that is the best you can do . Remember we are all different , Being autistic in this world is hard enough ,Being autistic  without an understanding parent, without a safe place is a nightmare .  Think of the long run .  I was all of the things above and a lot worse , we are just late bloomers .We work in a different way , i never did homework still got 11 o levels ,only had a job for one year, didn't see the point ,so worked  for myself .  I Own my 5 bedroom house and 16 acres outright ,just do the things i enjoy , wife ,6 kids .  Remember he is not doing it to annoy you , be his friend and he will be yours .

Children
  • in reply to mael

    Thanks Mael! I do look at him and think it must be so hard in his world, but equally I'm jealous as he's so oblivious and nieve to the things around him. 

    We do have lots of love, thankfully he's very tactile and the cuddles help! He would say his home is his safe space - I don't think he realises how stressed I am or that I'm screaming inside. Hence why I'm trying to learn how to cope now before he notices! 

    It's hard to give him the time he needs and also my youngest when they are so different. 

    Thanks again for your reminders and reassurance!