Self regulation

I'm finalising my daughters EHCP at the moment and after reading it, I have a better understanding of her needs. One big issue she has is her self regulation skills leading to dangerous and disruptive behaviours whilst at school. 

Her behaviours have escalated quickly since the summer term leading to many serious incidents, such as harm to herself and others, unsafe behaviour in the community, disruption of the school, refusal to engage in learning and absconding. She will hit out at times when distressed, uncertainty, when her verbal communication is limited. School feel she hits out in a way to control her environment. 

As her anxities increase, she will become quiet and seek space away from everyone. She will refuse all choices made by staff along with requests to use a safe quiet space. The more staff talk to her, the heightened she becomes. If she continues to be in a heightened state, she can abscond from school. She will then approach strangers, injuring staff, and displays unsafe behaviour near a busy road. 

My daughter made a list of issues in school and I gave it to her teachers so they can help. One thing she put on there was when she's distressed, she struggles to speak and it's frustrating so if they use a whiteboard to communicate it will help. And she also put that she has no idea what to do with herself when struggling. I don't know how to help her cope because I've run out of ideas. She has a lanyard in school so she can show how she's feeling or what she needs but she won't use it. She has lots of methods to help tell staff her issues but she won't. 

  • She does have ear defenders, both at home and school. She doesn't tend to wear them much even when she's by herself. She tends to 'mask' everything and I don't think she feels comfortable wearing them around people she knows but going out in public herself, she used too. 

    We are working on it. 

  • My daughter is going through similar however she is only 4 years old. We think she may have PDA so trying to follow steps and advice on that to try and help. She has only started this week wearing ear defenders, and the nursery can’t believe how much they have benefitted her. I know you get “loop” ear plugs which don’t completely shut out all sounds but help reduce background noise and help with sensory issues. Not sure if something like this could help her regulate? I’m so new to all of this and still waiting/fighting for diagnosis for my daughter. 

  • Fingers crossed for you!

    I am hoping following assessment that we will have a better and more specific profile of our daughter's needs meaning we can get her some more targeted support Fingers crossed tone1 Urrebtly she is only receiving a weekly nurture session from the SENCO. 

  • My daughter is 15, turning 16 in a few months. We know transitions are difficult for her especially to and from school. She has a 'bay' in her classroom to limit the amount of transitions every lesson so its just the change of staff but she will say in the morning if she doesn't want a member of staff later on in the day so it's not as hard. And when her next staff comes, she decides who goes first because she's on 2:1. 

    When she struggles, she will either withdraw or hit out. Today, she has made more pecs and help cards which she is going to finish off tomorrow so hopefully it will work better. 

  • Hi Parenting Autism, 

    I am afraid I have no advice really, but I just wanted to say you are not alone. Is it anything in particular at school that you know is causing the anxiety? Sometimes the smallest changes to the surrounding environment can have a big effect. May I ask how old she is?

    My daughter is almost 8 and is showing increasing levels of anxiety in any busy group setting (school, kids club etc). She does not hit out, but instead just shuts down and will not engage with anyone. I have had to go and pick her up from kids club before now as she has just balled up in the corner and refused to speak to or look at anyone. I believe it is sensory overload (noise) combined with social expectations that are triggering for her. She also puts a lot of pressure on herself academically which I believe is also contributing to her poor mental health. 

    I hope things improve for you all soon.