15yr old struggling with school attendance, depression and anxiety

Hi Everyone, 

My autistic son has been out of school since November 2021, and is struggling with depression and anxiety.  He won't/can't  enage with anyone from school, camhs, 42nd st, kooth or the GP.

Everything is a struggle for him, washing, brushing his hair, having the curtains open. I don't know how to support him.  Sometimes he can be aggressive and shouty, and can trash his room, other times he is very sad and tearful.

It feels like we are on a hamster wheel, and not getting anywhere. School have arranged for a home visit at the end of March, but my son is already saying that they can't come, as home is his safe place.

He has been offered the chance of an online call, but hasn't t been been able to attend these. 

Camhs initially suggested parenting workshops, after which he would be discharged if he was still unwilling / unable to engage, but have since put him on the waiting list for the psychiatric service. 

I'm now taking time off work as I can't cope with my sons needs and managing a full time job. 

It feels like the clock is running down to when he leaves school and we will be left in limbo, and he will have no gcse's, no college place, no work.

I worry about him constantly as he has talked about killing himself, but at the same time I know I'm not helping things.

We don't know what to do next. 

Parents
    • Hi I'm going through the same thing with my 14 year old son. He has been out of school since last sept as he was so distressed in secondary school he was self harming & suicidal. He is only recent diagnosed asd & its answered some questions for us but school had always affected his mental health. This is nothing new as he went through all this in primary school yet no one picked up on it & we received no help. The only difference now is the self harm & suicidal thoughts! I'm worried also about his education & GCSE'S. His 4th time with CAMHS last year is when they suggested autism but the waiting list is 3 yrs & he would be out of education by then so we had to go private. We are just waiting for his asd report so the school can give him more help but I just wanted you to know your not alone. Its very frustrating & heartbreaking. My son is so isolated he doesn't leave the house & has no friends.  I worry about his future. What kind of life he will have. He also refused to engage with any help that was offered he finds it excruciatingly speaking to people. I find taking it day by day is best but I wish you the very best & hope your son starts to improve soon.
Reply
    • Hi I'm going through the same thing with my 14 year old son. He has been out of school since last sept as he was so distressed in secondary school he was self harming & suicidal. He is only recent diagnosed asd & its answered some questions for us but school had always affected his mental health. This is nothing new as he went through all this in primary school yet no one picked up on it & we received no help. The only difference now is the self harm & suicidal thoughts! I'm worried also about his education & GCSE'S. His 4th time with CAMHS last year is when they suggested autism but the waiting list is 3 yrs & he would be out of education by then so we had to go private. We are just waiting for his asd report so the school can give him more help but I just wanted you to know your not alone. Its very frustrating & heartbreaking. My son is so isolated he doesn't leave the house & has no friends.  I worry about his future. What kind of life he will have. He also refused to engage with any help that was offered he finds it excruciatingly speaking to people. I find taking it day by day is best but I wish you the very best & hope your son starts to improve soon.
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