Finally got a referral but need support

I have a 11 yo daughter (very old for her age as the doctor said, mannerisms of a 15/16yo) she was referred to see a specialist when she was in primary school and I was told she has tendencies but not enough to diagnose. As the years have gone by, her symptoms and behaviour have been consistent and if anything got worse. We’ve recently been to the doctors and she has been referred again (I am aware there is a long waiting list!) so in the mean time if anyone has any advice as to how to cope and help and support my daughter

Daily we have fights not to leave the house for any occasion, shops, school, grandparents for childcare etc. She has recently told me she is non binary and wants to be known as a different name and pronouns. Constantly pushes the boundaries, for example, cutting her own hair, drawing/painting on her bedroom walls, refusing to eat, refusing to leave her bedroom, ignoring me when I speak to her. 

I am at the end of knowing how to deal with everything she is throwing at me and just need some help and advice as to what do and how to respond to situations.

I am aware she is a teenager and some of these things are normal teenager behaviour but she is my oldest so not sure what to expect

Any help is happily except

thank you 

Parents
  • Hello, just wanted to suggest using a small whiteboard (mine is approx 30 x 25 cms) to write down your plans for the week, so that your daughter can look at it and remind herself of what she is doing. Maybe she could fill it in. I am an autistic adult, recently diagnosed at the age of 57, and parent of 2 sons, both with autistic behaviours, and one transgender. I like visual reminders, I am constantly checking to see what I am doing, and could not manage without it. I then wipe it clean each week and write down everything planned for the next few days. I hope that you get the support that you need, reading your post reminded me of my sons behaviours when they were younger.

Reply
  • Hello, just wanted to suggest using a small whiteboard (mine is approx 30 x 25 cms) to write down your plans for the week, so that your daughter can look at it and remind herself of what she is doing. Maybe she could fill it in. I am an autistic adult, recently diagnosed at the age of 57, and parent of 2 sons, both with autistic behaviours, and one transgender. I like visual reminders, I am constantly checking to see what I am doing, and could not manage without it. I then wipe it clean each week and write down everything planned for the next few days. I hope that you get the support that you need, reading your post reminded me of my sons behaviours when they were younger.

Children
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