• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 1420 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

House obsession

NAS78226

Dear All,

 My son has recently moved schools to a smaller, private school as he found his previous school overwhelming and although is a lot happier in his new school he now has a huge fixation on moving house (we currently rent a flat) as he feels he is poor in comparison to his peers. He spends quite a lot of time obsessing about it and wanted to know if anyone had any strategies to deal with his anxiety. He is 8. Thanks

Parents

  • My son will obsess about wanting things others have and even have meltdowns when it is not possible. If we ride it out a while he forgets and often realises later he does not really need or want that thing someone else has.

    Can you think of some positive things about where he currently lives and keep reinforcing them? He found it hard when we moved house but now appreciates the advantages. 

Reply

  • My son will obsess about wanting things others have and even have meltdowns when it is not possible. If we ride it out a while he forgets and often realises later he does not really need or want that thing someone else has.

    Can you think of some positive things about where he currently lives and keep reinforcing them? He found it hard when we moved house but now appreciates the advantages. 

Children
  • in reply to Homebird

    Homebird, if your son is learning that that initial covetousness passes quite quickly, then he is learning a lesson many do not. That's great! Tell him from me, someone who does own pretty much any material thing I've ever wanted, that waiting is best, and paying cash is also best. I shop endlessly, but buy very little. 

    Tell hi from me, NEVER EVER pay full price for a car, motorcycle or electronics item. All give much more pleasure when bought carefully second hand. That new car smell wears off, and leaves you with the car that you bought. A known good quality used car, doesn't have that smell or initial euphoria but it does give a lot of pleasure or good use over a long time, and you get a MUCH better choice with second hand... 

    Having said that I must say, I have mad "fixing" skills, so used items don't frighten me. On my last car purchase (A larger type of car, which I'd NEVER be able to have new) the dealer turned on the car radio just as the differential started to whine. That cost him about 400 quid in the haggling because I knew he wanted the car to go, I knew he was concealing a fault and I know I could get it fixed for about 250 quid and I budgetted at the time 1300 quid a year to keep a Jaguar on the road and steadily "improving"...

    Fixing and negotiating skills are really good to have.

    And finally as he goes out into life, acquiring the physical possessions he wants, he'd do well to bear in mind the words of wisdom given to me by my friend "Harry Lagan" (who owned a second hand shop): 

    "Own not, lest ye be owned yourself"