Dear All,
My son has recently moved schools to a smaller, private school as he found his previous school overwhelming and although is a lot happier in his new school he now has a huge fixation on moving house (we currently rent a flat) as he feels he is poor in comparison to his peers. He spends quite a lot of time obsessing about it and wanted to know if anyone had any strategies to deal with his anxiety. He is 8. Thanks
I attend repair cafe now, it's so nice to just use the skills free of monetary consideration or argument. it can either be fixed there and then or it cannot.
Every "designed to be unfixable" Item I fix is as revolutionary act as chucking a small bomb, but infinitely more satisfying to me. It's like stealing money from the monolithic corporations who make disposable crap instead of "consumer durables" when I fix something (((they))) didn't want repaired...
if I could reliably post pictures here I'd draw and explain the bathtub curve which essentially shows you that you should NEVER buy a new complex machine, but if you must be "up to date" buy one that is three months old and isn't being dumped because it is a lemon.. and at the other end of the curve there are immense savings to be had.
My business motor was always a Jaguar for about twenty years, because it was on average cheaper than renting a ford fiesta type car, (including fuelling cost) but infinitely better to travel in, and made a decent first impression too. If I needed a car of my own I'd still be driving one, albeit running on LPG to keep the cost a little lower, although that will probably have ended by now...
I agree, we buy second hand quite often and also re use things for new purposes. My husband got a lovely reconditioned bike for a fraction of the price from a charity that trains people who have been homeless with skills to help them get work.
Not only does it save money, but I hate sending things that can be reused to landfill.
Homebird, if your son is learning that that initial covetousness passes quite quickly, then he is learning a lesson many do not. That's great! Tell him from me, someone who does own pretty much any material thing I've ever wanted, that waiting is best, and paying cash is also best. I shop endlessly, but buy very little.
Tell hi from me, NEVER EVER pay full price for a car, motorcycle or electronics item. All give much more pleasure when bought carefully second hand. That new car smell wears off, and leaves you with the car that you bought. A known good quality used car, doesn't have that smell or initial euphoria but it does give a lot of pleasure or good use over a long time, and you get a MUCH better choice with second hand...
Having said that I must say, I have mad "fixing" skills, so used items don't frighten me. On my last car purchase (A larger type of car, which I'd NEVER be able to have new) the dealer turned on the car radio just as the differential started to whine. That cost him about 400 quid in the haggling because I knew he wanted the car to go, I knew he was concealing a fault and I know I could get it fixed for about 250 quid and I budgetted at the time 1300 quid a year to keep a Jaguar on the road and steadily "improving"...
Fixing and negotiating skills are really good to have.
And finally as he goes out into life, acquiring the physical possessions he wants, he'd do well to bear in mind the words of wisdom given to me by my friend "Harry Lagan" (who owned a second hand shop):
"Own not, lest ye be owned yourself"
Not sure how to help your son in this case. he probably just has to learn that people’s real value doesn’t depend on their financial income. Maybe he understands that if you talk to him about it. And maybe it will just get better over time. But I still think you should address the issue rather than hope it will get better.
Getting real estate property is hard nowadays because the prices are insane. Ask https://probereality.cz, and they will tell you that it’s harder for millennials to buy a house than for boomers. Kids need to understand that if they are concerned with it.
My son will obsess about wanting things others have and even have meltdowns when it is not possible. If we ride it out a while he forgets and often realises later he does not really need or want that thing someone else has.
Can you think of some positive things about where he currently lives and keep reinforcing them? He found it hard when we moved house but now appreciates the advantages.
That's what I did 2 years ago. slightly different inasmuch as I bought a small parcel of inner city wasteground close to my home, but it's big enough to store/install a prefabricated/temporary building (no rates) which I'm partway through. It's all mine, and not bringing me in the regular bills. eventually when my building is finished I will have a little bit of electricity from solar, a stove and some filtered water off the roof and a place to go and do my thing. I live in someone else's house, but I know I'll always have somewhere I can go if I ever have a housing crisis when it's finished. If I had sufficient access I'd have had a container installed, rather than building.
I feel that. I've never been in a position to buy.
Not being able to afford or be able to buy a house isn't necessarily a bad thing. An owner is responsible for Maintenance and upkeep, not to mention it's not always a wise investment. Perhaps helping him only see how much money you're potentially saving (even if you're technically not) by renting, including the time you have which your not constantly spending on fixing a flat/house could be beneficial?
I sometimes wonder if it's not better to buy a little land somewhere I can always go camping would be more ideal long-term.
