Inappropriate behaviour

just a thought, but if you think behavioural issues might lead to problems in future you might push for a EHC plan. if they get a specialist to work with your son who knows what they are doing that person is likely to act as a 2 way filter helping your son to understand what is expected of him but also helping the school understand what it can reasonably expect from him.

Its very hard for them to penalise your son for breaking a rule when they've received expert advise that a particular rule needs to be modified or ignored for him. On the other hand if the EHC plan says your son should work with a specialist and that doesn't happen it becomes much harder for them to exclude him.

Although its about exclusion not inappropriate behaviour in general this document may interest you. www.nascambridge.org.uk/.../NAS-School-exclusions-information.pdf

Hi, my son has now officially been diagnosed.  We have mixed emotions.  We are glad we've finally found out for sure after all this time  but we are  also worried about him.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry.  Thank you for all your support, its really helped. 

I have the same issue. 

Hi Peter, I like your take on this.  Trying to explain this to school is like talking to a brick wall as they don't listen.  They just see it as bad behaviour and unacceptable.  I think all teachers should undergo some upto date training on understanding autism.

Yes actually I had an issue with this in my childhood I simply didn't understand the severity of what I was saying and thought it was funny/a joke. I continued it for way longer than I should (became one of those things I would just repeat) because nobody sat me down and explained why I should stop doing it exactly but they just told me to stop. Try sitting down with him and explaining exactly why and what kind of trouble he could get into for doing it, being clear and not just telling him to stop is the best approach.

Case in point imagine you were a robot who had lost all programming about what was socially appropriate. You could end up really upsetting people with out intending to do any harm. Video related https://youtu.be/gchS83wgvFM

wpuld it be fair to hold the robot accountable for the consequences of its broken programming? Flexibility on the teachers part may be nessisery.

Well for one thing are you really convinced your son is saying things that are so much worse than his peers? I can imagine a situation where the boys at the back of school bus are telling dirty jokes then your son goes up and tells the same joke to girls in the P.E class and suddenly it’s a massive issue.

it’s just a fact that autistic peoples behaviour is often not context appropriate and to be frank that may just have to be a reasonable adjustment the school has to make. That they treat every objectionable thing he says in the same way they would if it had been said to a bunch of rowdy lads at the back of the school bus.

but assuming you’re right is it nessiceraly easy for them to define why one edgy joke is ok but another is not? A second reasonable adjustment might be you can’t make a big deal about anything he says that’s objectionable if you can’t define how it’s different and more serious than other controversial things you let slide.

Because if an NT teacher can’t put into words why behaviour similar to his own is ok or only a minor issue but his behaviour is a major issue then how is an autistic person supposed to know?

this is just my personal opinion though. I’m sure a lot of people especially teachers would disagree.