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Strategies for my daughter coping

NAS78195

I am looking for advice if anyone can please help.

My daughter who has limited speach just turned 4 in January. She is really struggling at the moment when something is being done that in her mind isn’t the “correct” way. For example if someone is washing their hands the wrong way, or a child is playing with the buttons on an arcade game but not actually playing it properly. It can send her in to complete meltdown, and she is lashing out more during these too. This is happening at home and a lot at nursery too. I’m a single mum desperately looking for any help. Any strategies or coping mechanisms we could try would be appreciated.

Parents

  • My son finds this difficult too. He is a teenager now and has learnt over time to cope more. I used to confirm he had a good way, but others might do things differently. Hand washing may be because she learnt this when Covid came. I still count to 20 and do it again if I am not sure I did it.  It is more difficult if someone does something that is definitely wrong but may work over time if it is to do with preference.

    I think the anxiety of not doing the expected causes the reactions. For us the more we keep to routines the lower the general anxiety. I know personally I feel a sense of panic when things don't fit the expected.

    When you are out is it possible to distract as soon as she notices, before she has time to dwell on the situation?

    Also there is a book by Todd Parr called 'It's OK to be different.' My son enjoyed that book. It has a few words and colourful pictures. 

Reply

  • My son finds this difficult too. He is a teenager now and has learnt over time to cope more. I used to confirm he had a good way, but others might do things differently. Hand washing may be because she learnt this when Covid came. I still count to 20 and do it again if I am not sure I did it.  It is more difficult if someone does something that is definitely wrong but may work over time if it is to do with preference.

    I think the anxiety of not doing the expected causes the reactions. For us the more we keep to routines the lower the general anxiety. I know personally I feel a sense of panic when things don't fit the expected.

    When you are out is it possible to distract as soon as she notices, before she has time to dwell on the situation?

    Also there is a book by Todd Parr called 'It's OK to be different.' My son enjoyed that book. It has a few words and colourful pictures. 

Children
  • in reply to Homebird

    Thank you so much for your reply.  The hand washing was just one example of it, that one happened at nursery, it’s when things aren’t done her way. But when you are out in public or at nursery you can’t predict everything. We keep to routine as much as possible and I know her triggers. I try to distract her but sometimes it’s almost like her mind has already processed what’s happening isn’t to her liking before I’ve even realised. 

    ill have a look for this book, are there any others you would recommend?