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Strategies for my daughter coping

NAS78195

I am looking for advice if anyone can please help.

My daughter who has limited speach just turned 4 in January. She is really struggling at the moment when something is being done that in her mind isn’t the “correct” way. For example if someone is washing their hands the wrong way, or a child is playing with the buttons on an arcade game but not actually playing it properly. It can send her in to complete meltdown, and she is lashing out more during these too. This is happening at home and a lot at nursery too. I’m a single mum desperately looking for any help. Any strategies or coping mechanisms we could try would be appreciated.

  • in reply to Homebird

    Thank you so much for your reply.  The hand washing was just one example of it, that one happened at nursery, it’s when things aren’t done her way. But when you are out in public or at nursery you can’t predict everything. We keep to routine as much as possible and I know her triggers. I try to distract her but sometimes it’s almost like her mind has already processed what’s happening isn’t to her liking before I’ve even realised. 

    ill have a look for this book, are there any others you would recommend? 

  • Hola!! De lo poco que leo, realiza un perfil sensorial, lo que te ayudara a ver que cosas la alteran y que cosas las relajan. Cada persona es unica y lamentablemente lo que le sirve a uno, no le sirve a otro. Puedes ir evaluando tu misma que provoca sus crisis, antes que hubo..? como regularla, lo sabras con el perfil sensorial. 

    Desconozco como funciona la pagina, pero si necesitas mas apoyo me dices, soy autista y ademas trabaje en estimulación con familias con hijos TEA

  • My son finds this difficult too. He is a teenager now and has learnt over time to cope more. I used to confirm he had a good way, but others might do things differently. Hand washing may be because she learnt this when Covid came. I still count to 20 and do it again if I am not sure I did it.  It is more difficult if someone does something that is definitely wrong but may work over time if it is to do with preference.

    I think the anxiety of not doing the expected causes the reactions. For us the more we keep to routines the lower the general anxiety. I know personally I feel a sense of panic when things don't fit the expected.

    When you are out is it possible to distract as soon as she notices, before she has time to dwell on the situation?

    Also there is a book by Todd Parr called 'It's OK to be different.' My son enjoyed that book. It has a few words and colourful pictures. 

  • Dear NAS78195,

    Thank you for sharing this with our community. While we are waiting for the community to respond, you may like to look at our page about behaviour.

    Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/directory

    You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice:

     https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk.  They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/

    I hope this helps!

    Kind regards,

    Eunice Mod

  • wow, i'm 66 and diagnosed at 62... i wasn't that aware of why i do --- what your daughter does. 

    uh, i'll toss out maybe art therapy? with the proviso that i no very little about kids with this issue. but art can be super flexible and fluid, or it can be super strict... i think that might be helpful.... in letting her explore boundaries...??  my degree is in fine art - painting.

    i'm sure people here can help u and your daughter out.