Hi There,
My 11-year-old son is autistic and unfortunately, his father has left us on our wedding anniversary last September. He is extremely controlling and I am being supported by the local domestic abuse services for myself and my daughter.
My main concern is my son and his interaction with his unstable parent. His father has left or has had a nervous breakdown many times in our life together. The father cannot recognise many emotions, especially other people's emotions. They make him stressed and he often loses control of himself either by an angry behaviour in return or by leaving in his car.
My son needs a routine and organisation which he has in our home together but his father finds timetables, charts, family meetings and ani other kinds of organisation controlling and cannot cope with them.
He is also behaving as if he is ashamed of our son's diagnosis and cannot talk about it to anyone. I have had to speak to football coaches, scouts leaders and anyone who looks after our son knows behind his father's back to make sure our son is looked after accordingly when we are not with him.
Communication with my son's father is extremely difficult because that's another thing he cannot do: listen and accept that he doesn't know everything better than anyone else. When I raise concerns, he talks about anything on and on and on but discard my concerns or even blames me for being mad.
He does not interact with our children and I would say that he can only talk about football with our son and nothing really with our daughter. there is very little connection between them. he has always worked obsessively and as a result, I have always been the main carer for the children.
He is now behaving as if he owns the children and wants them to go and stay with him which scares me incredibly. The last time he had a panic mode leaving fit, he spent 2 days and nights in his car, planning his suicide, he had also taken the children's passports with him......
Until now, I have managed to keep the contact with the children from our home where they have the support of the community and where there are organised activities like football or scouts and in public places but I have received a letter from his solicitor giving me a deadline of 14 days to make changes....
Can someone advise me what to do, please? I am terrified for the safety of my son.
