Non autistic child self harming in a household with an autistic sibling

Not an easy subject, but I am looking for info and resources on this.  My nephew was recently diagnosed with autism, he is less functional than I am and really hard work with almost daily meltdowns.  The problem is his behaviour over the years, along with a lot of other factors has had a massive effect on his non-autistic sister who is now struggling with her mental health.  She has reached the self harm point and has tried to kill herself a couple of times, but she doesn't appear to be serious about it.  She is already under a local mental health team.  She has told me she hates her brother and wishes her family was normal.  Our entire family is worried about her.

While the core problems aren't just related to her brothers autism, it does play a large part in it.  Has anyone got any strategies for helping her.  So far i have tried to be there for her as her uncle, but I feel at times like I am fighting a losing battle.  It seems like she just continues to deterioate.  My family are considering letting her live away from home for a while to try and get a firebreak away from her brother, although it would only be a temporary measure.

Their are other factors involved in her problems too, including lack of friends and bullying.  Attempts have been made to rectify the friends issue, but bullying seems to be one of those almost impossible things to deal with.  She has told me that her brother is an embarrassment to her and her friends couldn't cope with his continuous behavioural issues.

Has anyone got any ideas, links to resources, etc?  Anything I can read and try to apply to the situation to help her would be good.

Thanks.

Parents
  • I don't know what the mental teams think, but my guess is depression is high on the list.  I have depression and have known a lot of people with it and she 100% has depression.  She goes for counselling once a week at the minute. I suspect she needs antidepressants, but she is a little young to be taking them, so don't know if she will be allowed them.

    A lot of this stems from her life up until now.  She has lived abroad a lot and upon returning this time, she finds herself at another new school with zero friends.  Also she is about a year in advance of other people of her age educationally.  So they bully her for having no friends, for being more intelligent and because her brother is ND.  I also suspect she has ASD, but not as much as he does.  ND traits seem to run within my family, quite strongly.

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  • I don't know what the mental teams think, but my guess is depression is high on the list.  I have depression and have known a lot of people with it and she 100% has depression.  She goes for counselling once a week at the minute. I suspect she needs antidepressants, but she is a little young to be taking them, so don't know if she will be allowed them.

    A lot of this stems from her life up until now.  She has lived abroad a lot and upon returning this time, she finds herself at another new school with zero friends.  Also she is about a year in advance of other people of her age educationally.  So they bully her for having no friends, for being more intelligent and because her brother is ND.  I also suspect she has ASD, but not as much as he does.  ND traits seem to run within my family, quite strongly.

Children