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Help please - 8year old son

NAS78021

Hi - I am new to this forum so apologies in advance for my long, rambled message, my son is 8 and was diagnosed in November 2020.  We are in a situation where we need help, I have contacted everyone and no one can support us.

Over the last month my son has started to have more frequent meltdowns, they have changed to how he was previously, almost like the flick of a switch.  They are much more intense, much more aggressive and violent. He is struggling very much with his emotions and is unable to regulate.  The triggers can be anything these days & he is very hard to pull back out of the meltdown.  We struggle to find a balance, he can be very hyper & over the top or very aggressive and on edge with no in between.  

In January I contacted his consultant for some help as he should have been seen in July.  Things have got worse and he was excluded from school twice last week for hurting children and staff.  The consultant have given me a date to see him in the middle of May which is just not good enough.  I feel we are in a crisis now.  I have contacted the GP, CAMHS, ADHD Nurse (not diagnosed yet) & local services but they are all unable to help at this time.  I have also looked into seeing a private consultant and been told that as he is Autistic there is nothing they will be able to do as they don't specialise.  I am really at a loss as to where to go next.

Any advice? Thank you.

Parents

  • Hi, don’t believe yourself to be alone as lots of autistic children and their families experience this, I were very violent myself during meltdowns.

    Once a meltdown has begun there is no stopping it, all you can do is protect your family until it resolves, there’s advice here on The National Autistic Society’s website concerning meltdowns and how to reduce and prevent them, it will be worth looking at if you haven’t done so yet.

    There’s no stopping a meltdown as they’re a biological response to what’s happening beneath the surface, they’re not conscious wilful behaviours. By this age your son has probably developed the “black and white” way of seeing things including his emotions, it’s not easy, but it may lure him towards the centre if you can explain and help him see the grey area, help him see his emotions on a continuum, illustrating it could be a help if he struggles to understand the way people speak, make sure people aren’t telling him he’s just overreacting or taking things too seriously. If your son stims in any stereotypical manner make sure no one’s stopping him, stimming serves multiple functions including emotional regulation, make sure the school is not stopping him.

    Remember the formula, “Autism + Environment = Outcome”. Ask his school to assess the environment and see if there’s anything that is possibly disturbing your son due to his autism that can be removed 

Reply

  • Hi, don’t believe yourself to be alone as lots of autistic children and their families experience this, I were very violent myself during meltdowns.

    Once a meltdown has begun there is no stopping it, all you can do is protect your family until it resolves, there’s advice here on The National Autistic Society’s website concerning meltdowns and how to reduce and prevent them, it will be worth looking at if you haven’t done so yet.

    There’s no stopping a meltdown as they’re a biological response to what’s happening beneath the surface, they’re not conscious wilful behaviours. By this age your son has probably developed the “black and white” way of seeing things including his emotions, it’s not easy, but it may lure him towards the centre if you can explain and help him see the grey area, help him see his emotions on a continuum, illustrating it could be a help if he struggles to understand the way people speak, make sure people aren’t telling him he’s just overreacting or taking things too seriously. If your son stims in any stereotypical manner make sure no one’s stopping him, stimming serves multiple functions including emotional regulation, make sure the school is not stopping him.

    Remember the formula, “Autism + Environment = Outcome”. Ask his school to assess the environment and see if there’s anything that is possibly disturbing your son due to his autism that can be removed 

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