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Help please - 8year old son

NAS78021

Hi - I am new to this forum so apologies in advance for my long, rambled message, my son is 8 and was diagnosed in November 2020.  We are in a situation where we need help, I have contacted everyone and no one can support us.

Over the last month my son has started to have more frequent meltdowns, they have changed to how he was previously, almost like the flick of a switch.  They are much more intense, much more aggressive and violent. He is struggling very much with his emotions and is unable to regulate.  The triggers can be anything these days & he is very hard to pull back out of the meltdown.  We struggle to find a balance, he can be very hyper & over the top or very aggressive and on edge with no in between.  

In January I contacted his consultant for some help as he should have been seen in July.  Things have got worse and he was excluded from school twice last week for hurting children and staff.  The consultant have given me a date to see him in the middle of May which is just not good enough.  I feel we are in a crisis now.  I have contacted the GP, CAMHS, ADHD Nurse (not diagnosed yet) & local services but they are all unable to help at this time.  I have also looked into seeing a private consultant and been told that as he is Autistic there is nothing they will be able to do as they don't specialise.  I am really at a loss as to where to go next.

Any advice? Thank you.

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  • I'm v sorry to hear you and your boy are having a hard time just now. I'm no expert, but have a 9 yo boy and have had to work a lot of things out myself for him. I hope you are able to get help soon.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

    It sounds as though things have got worse at school? Is there a person at school that can help you think about strategies/SENCO to try and keep him at school and help him when he is becoming dysregulated. How did they talk/explain  the exclusion with you? Are there any other changes in his routine that have happened lately? Sometimes seemingly minor things/changes have made my son upset.

    Main things that helped us at home were having a solid routine a quiet space, and also thinking about his sensory profile and adjusting the environment (removed the ticking clocks!). I started thinking about each meltdown and trying to work out the triggers (sometimes not obvious at all) which meant we became better at trying to head them off. As he has got older he has become better at identifying what he is feeling. We have also used the zones of regulation in the past. 

    I hope some of this helps. I just wanted to offer some solidarity as I know how stressful it can be as a parent.

Reply

  • I'm v sorry to hear you and your boy are having a hard time just now. I'm no expert, but have a 9 yo boy and have had to work a lot of things out myself for him. I hope you are able to get help soon.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

    It sounds as though things have got worse at school? Is there a person at school that can help you think about strategies/SENCO to try and keep him at school and help him when he is becoming dysregulated. How did they talk/explain  the exclusion with you? Are there any other changes in his routine that have happened lately? Sometimes seemingly minor things/changes have made my son upset.

    Main things that helped us at home were having a solid routine a quiet space, and also thinking about his sensory profile and adjusting the environment (removed the ticking clocks!). I started thinking about each meltdown and trying to work out the triggers (sometimes not obvious at all) which meant we became better at trying to head them off. As he has got older he has become better at identifying what he is feeling. We have also used the zones of regulation in the past. 

    I hope some of this helps. I just wanted to offer some solidarity as I know how stressful it can be as a parent.

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