Bereavement

My mother's death badly affected my daughter, she was a few weeks off her 12th birthday when it happened. I'm afraid it caused panic attacks at school whenever death was raised as a topic in the classroom for a couple of years - as she attended a Catholic school, this was probably more frequent than if she had been at a secular school. She was very close to my mother, who absolutely adored her. I think that for an autistic child, the grief is intensified and compounded by the effect of the disruption to their life, as predictability is so very important to the autistic person. Suddenly, everything is unsure and temporary, and this is frightening. Other than keeping her home life as stable as you can, and reassuring your daughter that you and other younger members of your family are very unlikely to die for a long time, there is not a huge amount that you can personally do. When she was about 14 we had our daughter referred for counselling and she had a course of 'cognitive behaviour therapy' (CBT) and this helped a lot, but the therapist needs to be aware of how autism affects the response of autistic people to such therapy, and can adapt their approach appropriately.

Thank you for your response and sorry also for your loss.  

Thank you for your response and sorry also for your loss.  

It was a while ago, I can think of my mum without too much pain now.